The Social Media Traps Narcissists Set Early

Social media: Where brunch pics get more likes than heartfelt declarations of love, and everyone’s ex seems to have joined a yacht club.

For narcissists, it’s the playground of dreams—and the hunting ground for attention, adoration, and a little bit of chaos. Spotting their tactics in the wild is tricky, especially in those early days when it all seems so flattering.

But with a keen eye and a pinch of wit, you can avoid falling into their cleverly placed snares.

The Love Bomb Parade on Your Timeline

Suddenly, your phone is exploding. Likes on photos from three years ago. Heart emojis under every status update. Comments that read like declarations from a poorly written romance novel.

This isn’t just enthusiasm—it’s strategic. Narcissists use social media to create a spectacle.

Public affection (especially within days of meeting) isn’t just about making you feel special; it’s also about showing everyone else how quickly they’ve “won” you.

Their goal? Cement their status as your main character, while subtly pressuring you to reciprocate—publicly, loudly, and with lots of digital confetti.

Ask yourself: Is this genuine excitement, or does it feel more like a performance? True romance doesn’t require a cheering section.

Flooding You With Attention, Then Quietly Withdrawing

Early on, it’s all fire emojis and instant replies. You post a story—bam, they reply with a witty comment or a compliment. Feeling adored yet exhausted? That’s not by accident.

This avalanche of attention is designed to get you hooked. Then, just as suddenly, the tide goes out. Now your post sits ignored for hours. Where’d that energy go?

The narcissist wants to see you scramble for their validation. It’s a classic push-pull game, and social media is their favorite arena.

Consistency is the mark of sincere interest. If their energy vanishes the moment you start expecting it, that’s a red flag waving itself.

Curating the Perfect Persona

Narcissists are masters of image control. Their profiles drip with carefully staged “candid” shots, inspirational quotes (usually about themselves), and humblebrags.

But early on in a connection, the curation ramps up. Suddenly their feed is filled with content designed to impress you.

Just got into hiking? Wow, look at those summit photos. Mentioned you love dogs? Oh, here’s a puppy in the next selfie, as if by magic.

If their online persona seems a little too tailored to your tastes, chances are it’s an audition, not authenticity.

Subtly Undermining Your Confidence in Your Posts

This one’s sneaky. It starts small: a backhanded compliment on a photo, a “joking” comment about your caption, or maybe a private DM about something you shared.

The motive? To plant seeds of self-doubt. Narcissists know that if you start second-guessing yourself, you’re more likely to seek their approval before posting. It’s a soft, digital leash.

Pay attention to how you feel after your interactions. If you’re suddenly cautious about sharing parts of yourself online, it might not be a coincidence.

Tagging You in Just Enough Posts to Stake Their Claim

You’ve gone on two dates and suddenly you’re tagged in memes, inside jokes, or those couple-y “who’s most likely to” quizzes.

This isn’t just about sharing a laugh. Early tagging is a way of marking territory in the digital jungle. It sends a message to any would-be rivals that you’re “taken”—while also making sure you’re included in their narrative.

Healthy relationships don’t need digital breadcrumbs to prove their existence.

Watching Your Stories With Laser Focus

You notice: Every time you share a story, they’re the very first viewer. Every. Single. Time.

Narcissists love the power of “being seen.” By making their presence known, they’re performing attentiveness, but also establishing a kind of surveillance-lite.

It’s the online equivalent of “I see you,” with just a hint of possessiveness.

Genuine interest is lovely. Relentless monitoring? Less so.

Spinning Your Shared Moments for Their Audience

That cute selfie of you together? Suddenly it’s on their feed, but the caption is all about their charm, wit, or style. Or they post a video of you laughing at their joke, positioning themselves as the star of your happiness.

Narcissists use shared experiences as props for their own storylines. The goal isn’t to celebrate you, but to demonstrate how fabulous they must be to have someone like you in their orbit.

If every shared post pivots back to them, that’s your sign.

Sliding Into Your Friends’ DMs

You might spot this move if you’re really paying attention. Early on, they’re charming your mates with friendly messages, inside jokes, or supportive comments on their posts.

On the surface, it looks like they’re making an effort. Underneath, they’re quietly embedding themselves in your social network, gaining allies—and credibility should things go sideways.

Healthy partners build connections organically, not via a covert social blitz.

Setting the Stage for Future Jealousy

That innocent flirty comment on someone else’s photo? The constant selfies with attractive friends? The “accidental” tag with an ex?

Early on, narcissists are gathering ammunition. These breadcrumbs keep you slightly off-balance, wondering where you stand and subtly competing for their attention. This is future-proofing their control.

If you’re feeling oddly insecure for no clear reason, take a step back and scan for these tiny provocations.

Turning Arguments Into Social Media Spectacles

Disagree with them? Brace yourself. Suddenly, cryptic song lyrics and vague “some people just can’t be trusted” posts start popping up.

While most folks keep early-stage squabbles private, narcissists bring their drama center stage—often fishing for sympathy or validation from their followers.

That crowd-sourced comfort? It’s fuel for their ego and a way to paint themselves as the misunderstood hero.

Arguments are normal. Turning them into content isn’t.

Crafting the Illusion of Popularity

Follow counts, like numbers, and endless comments from a rotating cast of admirers—narcissists know perception is power. Early on, you might notice suspiciously enthusiastic engagement from accounts that seem just a touch… generic.

Sometimes it’s a real fan club. Other times, it’s bots or old flings roped in for effect. The goal: To appear in-demand, and keep you feeling “lucky” to have earned their attention.

A packed comment section doesn’t guarantee a packed heart.

Encouraging Comparisons to Their Exes

A few days in, and you’ve already seen a throwback with their ex, or a not-so-subtle post about how “relationships should be drama-free.” The implication? You’re being measured, and you should strive to be “better.”

Social media gives narcissists the perfect platform to parade their pasts and set the bar for your own behavior—publicly, and with just enough ambiguity to maintain deniability.

No one deserves to be a contestant on their partner’s highlight reel.

Gaslighting With Selective Sharing

You notice they’ve blocked you from certain stories or set up “Close Friends” lists that don’t include you. When asked, they brush it off as paranoia or privacy.

This is a classic gaslight—making you question your own instincts, while keeping you at arm’s length from parts of their online life. It’s a way to control the narrative and test your reactions to micro-rejections.

Privacy is healthy; secrecy is not.

How to Sidestep the Traps With Style

Catching these red flags early doesn’t mean you have to become a social media detective, endlessly scrolling and screenshotting like it’s your job. Trust your gut. The best early warning sign? How you feel.

If you’re constantly on edge about what you’ll find online, or if the relationship seems to live more convincingly on Instagram than in your living room, it’s time for a reality check.

Direct communication always beats decoding cryptic captions. If you notice patterns that feel manipulative or performative, bring it out into the open. The right partner embraces clarity, not confusion.

Set boundaries around posting, tagging, and interaction—early and often. You’re not asking too much; you’re simply keeping your digital (and emotional) turf tidy.

Above all, remember: You’re not just an extra in someone else’s feed. You deserve to star in your own life—and that includes your online one.

Your Followers Will Thank You

Social media can be a fun extension of new romance, but it’s also a stage where narcissists put on their very best show.

When you know what to watch for, you can dodge the early traps, keep your confidence, and save your energy for the things that matter—like brunch. Or, you know, real love.