How to Make a Narcissist Stop Gaslighting You

Ever felt like you’re starring in a psychological thriller, except the villain is your partner and the gaslighting isn’t special effects?

Welcome to the (not so) delightful world of narcissistic relationships, where reality twists, turns, and tries to convince you that your memory has been replaced with a Magic 8 Ball.

Ready to call time on the mind games? Here’s how to put a stop to gaslighting, re-centre your mind, and regain your narrative—without needing a PhD in psychology or a crystal ball.

Recognizing Gaslighting When It Hits You

Gaslighting doesn’t always come with a neon sign. Sometimes it’s as subtle as “I never said that” (when they absolutely did), or “You’re too sensitive” (when you’re reacting like a normal human).

Even if you’ve got a gold medal in self-doubt, those nagging feelings are real. There’s a reason you’re questioning reality.

When every disagreement is met with denial, blame-shifting, or accusations of your “overreactions,” you’re not imagining things—someone’s rewriting history, and it’s not George Orwell.

Setting Boundaries That Don’t Move with the Goalposts

Boundaries: not just for toddlers and busybodies. With a narcissist, boundaries are like WiFi passwords—they’ll keep trying to guess them until you make them unbreakable.

Clearly and confidently state what you will and won’t accept. “It’s not okay for you to call me crazy when I express my feelings,” or “If you change the story again, I’m leaving the conversation.”

Easier said than done, yes, but you don’t win tug-of-war by letting go of your end.

Stick to your limits, even if you’re tempted to give in just to “keep the peace.” Spoiler: with a narcissist, that peace never lasts longer than a sitcom episode.

Documenting Reality, Because Your Brain Deserves a Backup

Relying on memory when you’re being gaslit is like trusting your phone’s battery at 4%—not ideal.

Keep notes. Texts, emails, even a quick voice memo about a conversation—these are your receipts. When someone tries to tell you “that never happened,” you’ll have more than just your sanity as proof.

Besides, nothing says “I’m onto your tricks” quite like calmly referencing a text from last Friday at 8:16pm.

Trusting Your Gut (Even If It’s Been Gaslit Into Silence)

Narcissists have a sixth sense for finding your insecurities and setting up shop. Over time, you start to doubt your gut, and that’s not a coincidence.

When your instincts whisper, “This feels off,” trust that voice. It hasn’t led you astray—someone’s just been turning down its volume. Boost it back up.

If you’re uncomfortable, don’t second-guess yourself just because someone else insists you’re wrong.

Refusing to Debate Your Lived Experience

Arguing with a narcissist about what’s real is like playing chess with a pigeon. They’ll knock over the pieces, crap on the board, and strut around like they’ve won.

You don’t owe anyone a defense of your feelings or memories. “That’s not how I remember it, and I won’t argue about it” is a perfectly good line.

Repeat as often as necessary, especially when the conversation starts to circle the drain.

Walking away from a pointless debate doesn’t make you the loser—it makes you the one with a working smoke alarm.

Seeking Allies Who See the Real You

Gaslighting thrives in isolation. That’s why narcissists love to chip away at your connections—friends, family, anyone who might say, “Wait, that’s not right.”

Reach out to people who knew you before the circus came to town. Share what’s been happening.

Sometimes, just hearing “You’re not crazy, I’ve noticed it too” is enough to start rebuilding your reality.

Community is not a luxury—it’s your emotional first aid kit when the narcissist’s reality starts to feel like the Twilight Zone.

Sticking to the Facts, Not the Drama

Narcissists are wizards at flipping every conversation into an Oscar-worthy melodrama. Next thing you know, you’re apologizing for how you “made them” yell at you.

Stay factual. “You said X yesterday; now you’re saying Y.” Avoid getting sucked into arguments about motives or feelings—they’ll run circles around you there.

Facts are less fun for narcissists than drama. Boring? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely.

Protecting Your Self-Esteem Like It’s Your PIN

Every gaslighting episode chips away at your self-worth. Suddenly, you’re questioning your intelligence, memory, even your right to feel what you feel.

Build yourself back up. Self-compassion isn’t indulgent; it’s crucial. Celebrate little victories: “I noticed the gaslighting today and didn’t fall for it.” Rinse and repeat.

Even if you feel silly at first, self-affirmation is the antidote to narcissistic poison.

Knowing When to Exit the Conversation (or the Relationship)

Sometimes, the only way to win is not to play. If the conversation hits a wall (or a maze, or a funhouse mirror), it’s okay to say, “I’m not discussing this anymore.”

Take a breather. Go for a walk, call a friend, stare at clouds. Removing yourself removes their power—for now, and in the long run, if you decide that’s the healthy choice.

And yes, sometimes the healthiest option is a clean break. No one ever got a medal for surviving the most gaslighting; you’re allowed to put your own oxygen mask on first.

The Magic of Professional Support

There’s no shame in needing reinforcements.

A good therapist can help you sort through the fog, restore your confidence, and build a toolbox for future run-ins with gaslighting—whether from a partner, parent, or that one unbearable coworker.

Think of therapy as getting your tyres checked before a long drive. Sure, you can keep going with a slow leak, but isn’t it nicer to travel without the constant worry you’re about to lose a wheel?

Reclaiming Your Reality

Gaslighting is exhausting. But it’s not forever.

Every time you set a boundary, trust your gut, or walk away from a pointless argument, you’re turning down the volume on the narcissist and turning up your own clarity.

You remember who you are. You remember what happened.

No amount of reality-twisting can change that, no matter how many times someone tries.

Here’s to getting your story back—one boundary, one truth, one deep breath at a time.