9 Ways Narcissists Humiliate You in Public

If you’ve ever wondered why your self-confidence seems to plummet every time you’re out with that one certain someone, grab a seat. Public humiliation is a favorite pastime for narcissists—almost as much as admiring their own reflection.

Let’s get straight to it and shine a light on nine all-too-familiar tricks they use to make you squirm in front of an audience.

1. Making Jokes at Your Expense

You know the type: “I’m just kidding!” followed by a laugh that’s just a bit too loud. Narcissists love getting a few chuckles by turning you into the punchline.

Maybe they call out your quirks or share embarrassing stories at dinner parties. If anyone looks uncomfortable, the narcissist claims you’re “too sensitive” or “can’t take a joke.”

It’s not comedy. It’s a subtle reminder of who’s steering the ship.

Try this: When the jokes veer into mean-spirited territory, call it out calmly: “That’s not funny to me.” Short, simple, and let them squirm for once.

2. Correcting You in Front of Others

Nothing says “I love you” like public correction, right? Narcissists can’t resist fixing your pronunciation, contradicting your memories, or nitpicking your stories in public.

It’s not about accuracy. It’s about making sure everyone knows who the “superior” one is.

If you challenge them, expect a condescending, “I was just helping.” Newsflash: Real help doesn’t make you feel like you flunked a pop quiz.

Protect your dignity by not arguing back in the moment. Save it for later, when the spotlight’s off—ideally with witnesses who weren’t there for the original show.

3. Ignoring or Excluding You

One minute, you’re arm candy. The next, you might as well be invisible. Narcissists have an Olympic-level ability to freeze you out during social gatherings.

They’ll chat up everyone else, leave you stranded, or even introduce you as “the plus-one.”

This move isn’t accidental. It’s designed to make you feel out of place, desperate to regain their attention.

Don’t play along. Mingle with others, show you’re perfectly capable of having a good time solo, and resist the urge to beg for scraps.

4. Revealing Your Secrets

Remember that one vulnerable thing you shared? Oh, look—it’s tonight’s hot topic! Narcissists treat your private life like their personal source material.

They’ll drop details about your fears, mistakes, or insecurities when an audience is handy.

This isn’t about “openness.” It’s about control. Nothing says power like holding your secrets hostage.

Set boundaries on what you share—and if the cat’s already out of the bag, address the betrayal directly (and privately). If shame loses its power, so does the narcissist.

5. Dismissing Your Opinions

Ever tried to join a conversation, only to be steamrolled? Narcissists are experts at minimizing your ideas: “That’s not how it works,” or “You don’t really get it.”

Occasionally, there’s a patronizing pat on the hand—bonus points for extra condescension.

It’s not an intellectual debate. It’s a status update: They’re up here, you’re down there.

Reclaim your voice. Offer your thoughts anyway—even if they roll their eyes. Show others you’re not afraid to contribute, even with a narcissist circling the waters.

6. Comparing You to Others

Why settle for subtlety when you can compare your partner to every “better” person in the room?

Narcissists love stretching your insecurities by pointing out how someone else is funnier, smarter, or more successful—usually loud enough for a few bystanders to overhear.

Not only is this humiliating, it’s a calculated effort to keep you off-balance. If you’re always “not enough,” you’re less likely to challenge their behavior.

Consider this permission to roll your eyes and mentally check out. You’re not auditioning for their approval—and the audience probably sees through the act.

7. Flirting with Others in Front of You

Public flirting isn’t just about feeding their ego—it’s about draining yours. Narcissists might openly flirt, compliment, or even physically touch others while you’re standing right there.

If you react, you’ll get accused of being jealous or “overreacting.”

This performance has two acts: boosting their self-image while chipping away at yours. The crowd isn’t just witnessing their “charm”—they’re witnessing your humiliation.

Rather than cause a scene, set a clear post-event boundary: “That’s not acceptable to me.” Your standards, not theirs, are the ones that count.

8. Blaming You for Their Mistakes

Nothing spices up a group outing like being thrown under a bus.

For narcissists, any slip-up is your fault, publicly announced for maximum effect: “We’re late because she took forever to get ready,” or “He’s the reason we missed the reservation.”

Deflection isn’t just a coping mechanism—it’s an art form. The goal? Keep their own image spotless, at your expense.

Resist the urge to defend yourself on their playing field. Stay calm. The more you respond with grace, the less satisfying the spectacle becomes.

9. Downplaying Your Achievements

So you finally nailed that big work project or reached a personal milestone? Cue the narcissist’s applause—except it sounds a lot like a yawn.

They’ll find ways to minimize your success, change the subject, or claim credit for “helping you get there.”

Your achievements are a threat to their status, so they’ll do everything possible to shrink them down to size.

Celebrate yourself. Share good news with people who genuinely care, not just those who tolerate it. You’re allowed to shine, even if someone else is allergic to your sparkle.

Why This Hurts—and What to Do About It

Enduring public humiliation from a narcissist isn’t just an awkward dinner story. It chips away at your confidence, your sense of safety, and your trust in relationships.

And while the narcissist claims it’s all in good fun, the impact is real.

If this list feels uncomfortably familiar, know that you’re not alone and you’re not imagining things. These tactics are designed to keep you small—because your light shining too bright is the last thing a narcissist wants.

Reclaim your power by setting boundaries, refusing to play their games, and surrounding yourself with people who see you for who you are.

Because if there’s one thing worse than public humiliation, it’s letting someone convince you that you deserve it. And you absolutely don’t.