9 Ways Narcissists Betray Without Remorse

Narcissists are masters of the sneaky betrayal. They’ll leave you wondering if you’re going mad, or if the rules of basic human decency have just quietly changed overnight.

Spoiler: It’s not you, and decency is still in the dictionary—just not theirs.

If you’ve ever found yourself blinking in disbelief after an encounter with a narcissist, you’re not alone.

Their style of betrayal is as subtle as a marching band in a library, but somehow, they always manage to act like you’re the one causing a scene. Here’s how these experts play the betrayal game—no guilt required.

1 When Lying Feels Like Breathing

Most people lie occasionally. Narcissists, though, lie like it’s their full-time job. Big lies, little lies, lies about things that don’t even matter—if there’s a truth, they’ll flip it inside out and wear it as a hat.

Getting caught doesn’t faze them. If you point out a contradiction, you’ll likely get a blank stare, followed by a story so convoluted that you forget what the original question was.

Welcome to the circular argument Olympics, where the gold medal is total confusion.

If you’re caught in this tornado, stick to observable facts and resist the urge to play detective. The truth will set you free, even if it doesn’t set them straight.

2 Gaslighting Until You Doubt Reality

Ever been convinced that you lost your mind because of a conversation? Gaslighting is the narcissist’s party trick.

One minute, they say something awful. The next, they insist you’re “making it up,” “too sensitive,” or “misremembering.”

This isn’t just forgetfulness—it’s psychological warfare. The goal? To have you questioning your memory, your feelings, and, occasionally, the color of the sky. It’s betrayal with a side of existential crisis.

Keep a journal. Seriously. It’s not just for angsty poetry; having a written record can help you regain your bearings and sanity.

3 Using Intimacy as Ammunition

Narcissists have an uncanny ability to turn your most vulnerable moments against you. That secret you shared about your fear of failure? Suddenly they’re mocking it at a dinner party, or weaponizing it in an argument.

Emotional betrayal doesn’t get more personal than this. They’ll dress it up as “just joking” or say you’re “too sensitive” (again with that one) while you’re left feeling exposed and betrayed.

Trust is a precious thing. Start by protecting your private thoughts until you know someone won’t use them as ammunition in the next battle.

4 Playing the Victim Card Like a Pro

When things go wrong, the narcissist is never at fault. If you dare to call out their behavior, brace yourself: tears, outrage, and a tale of how you are the real villain.

This is betrayal with a cherry on top—they twist your genuine concern into an attack, and suddenly you’re apologizing for their mistakes. It’s not just unfair; it’s dizzying.

If you find yourself perpetually on the back foot, hit pause. Ask yourself whose feelings are actually being protected here (hint: probably not yours).

5 Sabotaging Your Success

Narcissists quietly resent anyone else’s achievements, even those of people they claim to love.

Sometimes it’s overt, like a snide comment at your promotion party. Other times, it’s the subtle undermining—telling you not to bother aiming high, or “forgetting” to mention an opportunity.

Celebrating your win? Expect a rain cloud. Need encouragement? Cue the backhanded compliment.

Surround yourself with people who cheer for your victories, not those who try to make your finish line disappear.

6 Disappearing When Needed Most

Support? Only if it makes them look good. When the chips are down, narcissists suddenly have pressing appointments. Or a mysterious illness. Or an existential need to reorganize their sock drawer.

Their disappearing act when you’re in crisis isn’t just flaky—it’s betrayal at its most self-centered. The message is clear: unless it benefits them, your pain is just background noise.

Take note of who shows up when times get tough. True allies don’t vanish at the first sign of inconvenience.

7 Double Standards That Defy Logic

Narcissists reserve the right to do as they please—while holding you to a standard so high it needs supplemental oxygen.

They’ll demand loyalty while flirting with half the neighborhood, or insist you share every detail of your day while guarding their own privacy like a state secret.

These double standards aren’t accidents; they’re power plays.

Call out these mismatched rules with humor or a raised eyebrow. Sometimes, a well-timed “Are you serious?” is the only answer.

8 Public Humiliation in Disguise

Jokes at your expense. “Playful” teasing that cuts deeper than a bread knife. Narcissists love making you the punchline, especially if there’s an audience.

Afterward, they’ll claim you’re uptight, or accuse you of not being able to “take a joke.” In reality, they’re banking on your embarrassment to keep you quiet.

Set clear boundaries about what’s off-limits. If they ignore your wishes, you’re not dealing with an overzealous comic—you’re facing betrayal, plain and simple.

9 Rewriting History to Suit Their Narrative

Ever argued with a narcissist and realized halfway through that the past is being re-edited before your eyes? Events you both lived through suddenly have a brand-new script.

The villain is always you, and their heroism gets a double feature.

It’s not just frustrating; it’s betrayal that leaves you questioning your own memory—again. Calling out these rewrites rarely changes their story, but it can help you stay anchored in reality.

Keep friendships and connections with people who witnessed these moments. Sometimes, having a second set of eyes on the past helps you see things clearly, even when the narcissist’s memory gets creative.

Reclaiming Your Sanity

Living with a narcissist’s betrayals can be a dizzying, isolating experience. Their tactics are designed to keep you off-balance and unsure, all while they carry on without a hint of remorse.

But here’s the thing: you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone.

Noticing these betrayals is step one. Deciding how you want to respond—maybe with a dash of sarcasm, definitely with a lot of self-respect—is where your power lies.

Draw your lines. Preserve your boundaries. Build your support squad, and don’t be afraid to trust your own reality again.

After all, you’re the expert on your own life—no matter how many times someone else tries to “edit” the script.