9 Sacrifices Narcissists Refuse to Make

Narcissists. They’re the stars of their own movie, and the rest of us are just wandering through the background trying not to trip over their massive egos.

While most of us manage to make the little (and sometimes big) sacrifices that healthy relationships demand, narcissists have a knack for swerving around anything that asks them to put someone else first.

Buckle up. Here are nine sacrifices you’ll rarely—if ever—see a narcissist make, no matter how much you ask or how many times you wave a relationship manual in their face.

1. Admitting They’re Wrong

Asking a narcissist to admit fault is like waiting for rain in the desert: possible, technically, but you’ll be parched long before it happens.

Even when presented with indisputable evidence—think screenshots, witness testimony, or the family group chat receipts—they’ll twist, dodge, and eventually blame you for finding fault in the first place.

Accountability? Not in their vocabulary.

For narcissists, being wrong isn’t just uncomfortable—it’s an existential threat. Which means the likelihood of a heartfelt “I messed up” hovers somewhere between zero and the temperature on Pluto.

2. Sharing the Spotlight

Healthy relationships are a two-way street. Narcissistic relationships, meanwhile, are more like a roundabout, with the narcissist circling endlessly in the center, honking for attention.

Try to share a win, or God forbid, outshine them at a family gathering, and you’ll get the emotional equivalent of a toddler yanking the mic at karaoke night. Narcissists need to be the main event.

Celebrating your achievements simply isn’t on their agenda—unless they can twist it into a reflection of their own greatness.

3. Giving Up Control

If you want to see a narcissist sweat, suggest a plan that doesn’t revolve around their preferences. They’ll insist on choosing the restaurant, the movie, and even the seating arrangement (because obviously, their side of the couch is superior).

Relinquishing control means trusting someone else—perish the thought! Every little detail, from your choice of holiday destination to which way the toilet paper hangs, can become a battleground.

Seriously, just let it hang whichever way. Life’s too short.

4. Genuine Empathy

Empathy is the glue that holds grown-up relationships together. In the narcissist’s world, that glue is missing—replaced, perhaps, by some spray-on version that looks convincing until you actually need it.

Witnessing your pain or joy rarely moves them, except as an opportunity to redirect attention back to their own feelings.

If you’re hoping they’ll sit with you through heartbreak or celebrate your small wins, prepare for responses like, “Well, if you think that’s bad, listen to what happened to me…”

Emotional give-and-take? More like emotional show-and-tell. And they’re always the only kid with something to show.

5. Respecting Boundaries

Boundaries are healthy. Narcissists see them as hurdles to leap, scale, or simply bulldoze.

Try to set a limit—“I need some space,” “Please don’t read my texts,” “Let’s not discuss my salary with your mum”—and watch the tap-dancing begin.

At best, they’ll ignore your boundaries. At worst, they’ll make you question why you even set them in the first place.

Personal space, privacy, emotional limits—these are all optional extras in the narcissist’s relationship package. Spoiler alert: you’re not getting the premium version.

6. Sacrificing Their Image

Narcissists are deeply invested in their own PR campaigns. Image maintenance is a full-time job, and if there’s any risk of looking flawed, awkward, or (gasp!) human, they’ll do cartwheels to avoid it.

Admitting they hurt your feelings? That could tarnish their halo. Apologizing publicly? Only if hell freezes over and they get a “World’s Best Partner” sash out of it.

The fear of looking less-than-perfect trumps any need to repair real emotional damage, leaving their partners stuck in a loop of image over intimacy.

7. Apologizing Sincerely

Sure, you might get an “I’m sorry you feel that way,” but don’t hold your breath for a “Sorry, I messed up.” For narcissists, apologies are transactional at best, weaponized at worst.

If you do extract an apology, it’s often so begrudging and self-serving that it leaves you feeling even worse. Think, “Fine, I guess I’m sorry if you think I did something wrong.”

These apologies are about as comforting as a soggy sandwich—technically there, but nobody’s happy about it.

8. Putting Others’ Needs First

In healthy partnerships, everyone takes turns making coffee runs or watching terrible TV because their partner likes it. For narcissists, putting anyone else’s needs above their own is a cosmic injustice.

Forgot your birthday? It’s probably because they were busy planning theirs. Expecting help with your bad day? Buckle in for an anecdote about their slightly worse day.

If you ever suggest a date night that isn’t meticulously tailored to their whims, prepare for a logistical nightmare.

Reciprocity isn’t their strong suit. It’s not even their mediocre suit.

9. Long-Term Compromise

Relationships require give and take, especially over the long haul. Narcissists, though, trade in short-term wins—their wins.

Compromise feels like defeat, so they’ll resist anything that doesn’t tip the scale in their favour.

Need to move cities for your career? Suddenly, their roots are deeper than a 300-year-old oak. Want to save money for something important to you? Sorry, but there’s a designer jacket with their name on it.

Any arrangement that isn’t optimally convenient for them gets sent straight to the bin. Permanently.

When the Sacrifice Is Your Sanity

Living with a narcissist means getting used to the word “no”—no apologies, no sharing, no real emotional support. The sacrifices they won’t make become the sacrifices you do.

If this list feels all too familiar, it isn’t your fault, and you’re not asking for too much. Healthy love means both people stretch for each other—sometimes awkwardly, sometimes imperfectly, but always together.

If you’re tired of being the one who bends until you break, it might be time to ask: Are you in the kind of relationship where sacrifice is a two-way street, or are you just paving the road for someone else’s parade?

Either way, your sanity deserves top billing. Don’t let anyone, narcissist or not, convince you otherwise.