7 Strange Habits Of Narcissists

Anyone who’s ever tangled with a narcissist knows the drill. You start off charmed, maybe even dazzled—and before you know it, you’re living in a hall of mirrors, wondering if you’re the one losing the plot.

If you suspect a partner, parent, or friend might be a card-carrying member of the narcissism club, you’re not alone, and you’re definitely not imagining things.

Narcissists tend to operate on their own set of rules, and boy, do they love a strange habit or seven.

Here’s what to look for—plus a few ways to keep your own sanity when those habits start creeping under your skin.

1. The Magic Mirror Trick

Narcissists are world-class magicians—at least when it comes to making everything about themselves.

Bring up your amazing promotion? Oh, darling, you should’ve heard about the time they were scouted by Google, but turned it down for “personal growth.”

Share your heartbreak? Suddenly, their third cousin’s break-up was far more tragic (and, shockingly, also about them).

This habit of hijacking conversations isn’t just self-obsession. It’s a way to keep attention firmly glued to them, like a toddler who’s suddenly realized the living room is full of adults not watching their latest somersault.

To protect your own sense of reality, keep notes if you have to (nothing fancy—think bullet points in your phone). When the conversation inevitably turns into a one-person show, remind yourself: this is their circus, not your clowns.

2. Compliment Fishing, Olympic Edition

Ever feel like you’re being subtly interrogated… for praise? Narcissists have a knack for baiting compliments without ever outright asking.

They’ll sigh about how terribly they did at work today—four times in one evening—then pause, waiting for you to fill the silence with, “No, you’re brilliant, everyone loves you!” It’s less a conversation, more a fishing trip.

They’re not just looking for ego boosts—they’re mining for validation like it’s gold dust. It’s exhausting, and if you don’t bite, suddenly you’re the cold-hearted monster.

Set boundaries on this endless game by switching gears: “You seem upset—want to talk about how you’re feeling?” Flip the script. If praise is demanded like oxygen, a little less oxygen isn’t going to hurt anyone.

3. The Vanishing Act (When You Need Them)

Need emotional support? Prepare for the Great Disappearing Act. Narcissists aren’t big on empathy, unless there’s a spotlight involved.

When the chips are down and you could use a shoulder, suddenly their phone’s “lost,” or they’re “swamped” (watching Netflix with a snack, most likely).

This isn’t selfishness—it’s Olympic-level avoidance. If you find yourself perpetually alone during tough times, it’s not your imagination.

Don’t wait for them to show up with soup and tissues. Build a support squad elsewhere.

Message a friend who’ll actually pick up, or treat yourself to the self-care you’re craving. Waiting for the narcissist cavalry generally leads to disappointment and empty ice cream tubs.

4. The Sympathy Stealer

Ever notice how your personal struggles quickly morph into their own sob story? Mention your anxiety, and suddenly they’re the poster child for “most misunderstood person in the country.”

The art of one-upping is alive and well in narcissist territory.

Sympathy stealing isn’t just odd; it’s a tactic to keep the emotional focus right where they want it. Over time, this leaves you feeling like your pain doesn’t matter—or worse, that you’re selfish for even having feelings.

Next time the sympathy baton gets ripped from your hands, say, “I do want to support you, but I need you to hear me out first.” If that doesn’t land, repeat as needed. Broken records get played, too.

5. The Rewrite of Reality

Rules of engagement in a narcissist’s world: facts are optional, and your memories may be replaced at any moment. Forget gaslighting on a small scale—this is the director’s cut.

Didn’t say what you heard them say? “You’re remembering wrong.” Swears they never raised their voice, even though the dog’s still hiding under the bed? “You’re too sensitive.”

Over time, you start questioning everything—including your own grip on reality.

Counteract the rewrite by keeping your own mental receipts. Journaling after big conversations can help ground you in what actually happened.

Bring a trusted pal into the loop if you need a sanity check. It’s not you, it’s the plot twist.

6. The Trophy Case of Exes, Friends, and Frenemies

Narcissists collect people like some collect stamps—a little obsessive, a little competitive, and always ready to show off the rarest find. Expect to hear about the “crazy” exes, the “jealous” friends, and a running tally of everyone who wronged them.

Here’s the twist: every story ends with the narcissist as the misunderstood hero. If a relationship ended, it was never their fault. If they’re not speaking to a former friend, that friend was “toxic.”

Patterns emerge, but somehow they’re always the one with the white hat.

When you notice the endless parade of “bad apples,” ask yourself: is this really everyone else’s problem, or is there a common denominator? Hint: it’s not the apples.

7. Mission: Control Freak

Narcissists love control like Brits love tea—with unwavering devotion. Every detail, from what you wear to how you spend your weekend, can become a battleground.

They’ll frame their preferences as “looking out for you,” but it’s really about maintaining the upper hand.

Decisions get second-guessed, your autonomy slowly erodes, and eventually, you might catch yourself apologizing for wanting, well, anything at all.

Push back (gently or firmly—your call) when control starts seeping in. “I appreciate your opinion, but I’d like to choose this myself,” works wonders. If they pitch a fit, take that as a sign you’re doing something right.

Dealing With the Strange and Unusual

Living—or loving—someone with narcissistic habits can feel like trying to win an argument with a smoke alarm. There’s noise, confusion, and occasionally, the urge to move house.

Recognizing these strange behaviors is the first step to getting your power (and your peace) back.

Boundaries are the name of the game. When the conversation turns into a marathon monologue, or your feelings get rerouted right back to them, take a breather.

Reach for support where you’ll get it, not where you’re endlessly auditioning for someone’s compassion.

Most importantly, trust that your needs matter. If someone’s strange habits keep leaving you on the back foot, it’s not selfish to stand your ground or walk away.

After all, life’s too short to spend it as someone else’s supporting actor.