7 Signs a Narcissist is Emotionally Checking Out

If you’ve found yourself Googling “why does my partner act like I’m their Wi-Fi provider—only noticed when disconnected?”—congratulations, you may be onto something.

When a narcissist starts emotionally checking out, the signs are bizarrely consistent and, frankly, hard to miss (once you stop making excuses for them).

Narcissists never really invest themselves in the same way as the rest of us mere mortals, but when they’re truly over it, their indifference becomes as subtle as a glitter cannon at a funeral.

Here’s how you spot the big, flashing red lights that something in your relationship has well and truly short-circuited.

1. Emotional Vacuum Cleaner Mode

Suddenly, their attention and affection vanish like socks in a tumble dryer. One day, they’re showering you with grand declarations and surprise takeaways. Next, it’s radio silence, and you’re left wondering if you accidentally turned invisible.

It’s not just a bad week. It’s a full-on withdrawal. You’ll notice they’re less interested in your wins, your woes, or even your attempts at a vaguely interesting anecdote about your day.

Where there used to be performative concern or at least a well-timed nod, now there’s… nothing.

Don’t mistake this for them “needing space.” Emotional absence isn’t about healthy boundaries; it’s about unplugging from the minimum maintenance required to keep the relationship on life support.

What to do: Instead of frantically waving to get their attention, try asking for what you need, calmly and directly. If you’re met with a shrug or (worse) a yawn, take note. It’s not you—it’s their withdrawal speaking volumes.

2. The Grand Disinterest in Your Reality

Once upon a time, your narcissist could feign curiosity about your coworker drama or how your mum’s new dog is settling in. Now? You’d get more engagement from a potted plant.

Conversation devolves into a string of “hmms” and “oh, right,” with all the enthusiasm of a dentist’s waiting room. If you manage to wrangle an actual opinion from them, it’s likely dismissive or sarcastic.

Once they stop mining your life for entertainment or ammunition, you know they’ve mentally packed their bags.

What to do: Check yourself—are you pouring energy into someone who only perks up when the conversation steers back to them?

Try intentionally steering chats toward your own interests and see if the crickets start chirping. That silence is telling.

3. Ghosting While Still in the Room

There’s ignoring, and then there’s the Olympic-level sport of being physically present but emotionally MIA. Narcissists don’t bother with an exit speech—they just ghost you mid-relationship.

Maybe they claim to be “busy” but have time for endless TikTok binges. Maybe they’re sitting next to you on the sofa, but you feel like you could streak through the lounge and they wouldn’t notice.

Responses to your texts or questions become monosyllabic—if they bother to respond at all. Suddenly, you’re living with a Wi-Fi-enabled houseplant.

What to do: If you can’t remember the last real conversation you had, gently bring it up. “Hey, feels like we haven’t really talked in ages—what’s up?” If they wave you off or blame you for “being dramatic,” that’s your answer.

4. Criticism on Spin Cycle

When a narcissist emotionally checks out, their patience for your quirks evaporates. Suddenly, everything you do is up for review.

There’s sighing over how you load the dishwasher, eye rolling when you mention your goals, and snippy comments about your friends. Nothing’s sacred, and everything is your fault.

What’s really going on? They’re building a wall of petty grievances to justify their own withdrawal (and maybe even a future exit).

What to do: If you notice the criticism-to-compliment ratio swinging wildly, keep a mental tally. And don’t engage in the blame game—no one wins, and you’ll just wear yourself out.

5. “New Supply” Obsession

Narcissists are like magpies—always on the lookout for the next shiny thing.

If your partner suddenly becomes fixated on a “new best friend,” a co-worker allegedly in dire need of their guidance, or an endless stream of Instagram followers, consider it a red flag.

The attention once lavished on you is redirected elsewhere. They may not hide it, either; in fact, they’ll probably flaunt how “in demand” they are, just to twist the knife.

What to do: Watch how they talk about these new people. If you feel like you’re auditioning for your own relationship, call it out. “I notice you’ve been really caught up with [insert name here] lately.” Their reaction will be illuminating.

6. The Disappearing Accountability Act

When a narcissist checks out, responsibility for the relationship’s health is quietly shoved into your lap—then denied outright.

Any requests to talk about the relationship’s future are met with a dazzling array of deflections: “You’re always complaining,” or “Why can’t you just relax?”

It’s like trying to nail jelly to a wall. Suddenly, everything is your fault—or better yet, everything is “fine,” as they scroll through their phone like a bored teenager at the dinner table.

What to do: Insist on clarity. Try, “I’m feeling disconnected. Can we talk about what’s changed between us?” If you’re met with stonewalling or gaslighting, recognize it for what it is: a strategic retreat.

7. Future Plans Go Missing Without a Trace

Remember when you used to talk about holidays, moving in together, or even next weekend’s plans? Now, any mention of the future is met with a noncommittal grunt or brushed off with a joke.

A narcissist in emotional retreat doesn’t see the point in planning, because (surprise!) they’re not invested in a shared future anymore. You’ll notice promises evaporate, special occasions are forgotten, and you’re left holding the bag—alone.

What to do: Bring up the topic directly. “Where do you see us going?” If they dodge, deflect, or flat-out refuse to talk about it, you’ve got your answer—even if it’s unspoken.

When Self-Preservation Becomes a Priority

Spotting these red flags doesn’t require a psychology degree—just a willingness to trust your gut and face what’s right in front of you.

If you’re experiencing more than one of these signs, it’s time to stop rationing your own needs and hoping for scraps. Get support from friends, a therapist, or anyone who can help you reality-check what’s happening.

Narcissists are experts at rewriting the script, but your script deserves to feature a main character who actually cares. If you’re clinging on to old highs, consider this your permission slip to start asking the hard questions.

Your capacity for love is a gift. Don’t waste it on someone who clocks out before the relationship is truly over.