15 Warning Signs That You Are Dealing With a Narcissist

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering if your partner, colleague, or that one friend who hijacks every conversation is a narcissist, congratulations—you have excellent instincts.

Narcissists aren’t just people who love a good selfie. They’re masters of manipulation, subtle (and not-so-subtle) sabotage, and emotional gymnastics.

Spotting them early? That’s the self-care move of the year.

Let’s get you acquainted with the classic signs—so you can spot a narcissist before they make you the unwitting star of their personal soap opera.

1. Conversation Is a One-Way Street

Welcome to “The Them Show,” starring, well, only them. Narcissists have a special talent for redirecting any conversation back to themselves.

Mention your new job, and somehow, you’ll end up discussing their glorious high school football career (for the third time this week). Sharing your feelings is about as rewarding as shouting into a wind tunnel.

2. The Empathy Switch Is Permanently Off

Ever try to explain a tough day to someone and get a blank stare or—worse—a quick subject change? That’s not just rudeness; it’s a glaring absence of empathy.

Narcissists are emotional Teflon pans: nothing really sticks. No matter how much you hope they’ll eventually “get it,” don’t hold your breath.

3. Boundaries? What Boundaries?

Set a boundary with a narcissist and watch them barrel right through it with the grace of a runaway tractor. Your time, space, and feelings? Just suggestions in their world.

Their needs always come first, and anyone else’s limits are just obstacles to sidestep.

4. Praise Junkies

If applause was a vitamin, narcissists would be the healthiest people alive. These folks crave admiration like the rest of us crave a morning coffee.

Flattery keeps them buzzing, and if you aren’t constantly topping up their ego, you’ll hear about it—either through sulking or shameless fishing for compliments.

5. Rules Are for Other People

Double standards are practically their love language. Expect them to hold you to strict rules—while they break the very same ones without a flicker of guilt.

Late for dinner? Unforgivable. Them bailing at the last minute? “Something important came up.” Funny how that works.

6. Gaslight Deluxe

Ever feel like you’re losing your marbles in a conversation? Maybe you clearly remember making weekend plans, but your narcissist friend insists you never mentioned it.

Welcome to gaslighting, their favorite mind trick. They’ll twist facts, rewrite history, and leave you doubting your own memory.

7. Apology Allergic

Getting a sincere apology out of a narcissist is rarer than a polite toddler. When they mess up, expect an excuse, a deflection, or—if you’re really lucky—a “sorry you feel that way.”

Accountability? Nope. They’d rather walk barefoot over Lego bricks.

8. Subtle (and Not-So-Subtle) Put-Downs

Ever notice those “jokes” or backhanded compliments that leave you feeling oddly deflated? Narcissists love to disguise criticism as banter, always keeping themselves on top.

Your success will be minimized. Your failures? Well, those get a spotlight.

9. Never Wrong, Never Weak

The idea of making a mistake or admitting weakness is as appealing to a narcissist as a cold bath in winter. Expect endless rationalizing, blame-shifting, or simply changing the topic. In their world, errors are for mere mortals.

10. Manipulation: Advanced Edition

Emotional manipulation is their bread and butter. Guilt trips, silent treatments, or even love bombing (that overwhelming affection out of nowhere) are all part of the arsenal.

If you regularly find yourself doing things you don’t want to do—just to keep the peace—take note.

11. Jealousy and Possessiveness

Narcissists are notoriously jealous, sometimes over the weirdest things. Your new haircut, your promotion, even your close friendships—they’ll see them all as threats.

Cue the passive-aggressive comments and the sudden need to “protect” you from certain people. It’s less sweet and more suffocating.

12. Image Is Everything

Public persona matters more than private reality. Expect them to curate their image with the intensity of an Instagram influencer.

What goes on behind closed doors might be chaos, but as long as the outside world sees perfection, all’s well in narcissist land.

13. Relationships Feel Transactional

Ever feel like you’re part of a business deal instead of a relationship? Narcissists keep score. If they do something nice, expect payback—sometimes immediately, sometimes with interest.

Acts of kindness are rarely just that; they come with invisible strings.

14. Exes Are All “Crazy”

Ask about past relationships, and you’ll get a highlight reel of “crazy” exes, difficult colleagues, and unreasonable friends. The common denominator in all this drama? Not them, surely.

Spoiler: if everyone else is always at fault, it might be time to raise an eyebrow (or two).

15. They Suck the Oxygen From the Room

Ever leave a conversation with someone feeling like you’ve just run a marathon—emotionally drained and inexplicably anxious? Narcissists have a knack for making every interaction about them, leaving you feeling invisible.

Over time, their neediness can be exhausting, even if they play the “charming” card when it suits them.

What to Do When You Spot These Red Flags

Spotting a narcissist in your personal orbit isn’t a sign to panic—or to try to “fix” them. It’s a cue to protect your own boundaries, sanity, and self-worth. Here’s where the actionable bit comes in:

Start with your own limits. Set clear boundaries, and—here’s the tough part—stick to them, even when the guilt trips arrive in bulk. Practice saying “no” like it’s your new favorite word.

Call in reinforcements. Trusted friends, a therapist, or a support group can help you keep perspective when reality starts to get fuzzy.

Don’t expect change. Narcissists are world-class at pretending to grow, especially when they sense you’re about to walk away. Real change is rare, and it’s not your job to play therapist.

Above all, don’t lose yourself in the emotional funhouse. Your needs, feelings, and sanity are not negotiable.

Take care, trust your gut, and remember: not every dramatic character deserves a starring role in your life.

Because who has time for constant drama when there are real adventures waiting—like figuring out where you put your phone (again)?