10 Ways Narcissists Drain Your Energy

Ever felt like you just ran a marathon after brunch with that one person who turns every conversation into a TED Talk about themselves? Welcome to the joyride of dealing with a narcissist.

These folks can turn a regular Tuesday into a never-ending episode of “Survivor: Emotional Edition.”

If your batteries are constantly flat after certain interactions, you might just be camping in narcissist country. Here’s how they do it—and how to stop giving away your last nerve.

1. Conversation Always Circles Back to Them

Sharing your excitement about a promotion? Suddenly, they’re recounting their own career milestones—louder and in Technicolor.

Narcissists treat conversations like competitive sports: points are only scored if they’re talking about themselves.

This relentless self-centering isn’t just tedious—it’s energy-sucking. You leave these exchanges feeling invisible, as if you wore your best story for nothing.

Steer clear of the emotional pothole by redirecting the conversation or, when possible, keeping chats brief. No shame in investing your words where they’re valued.

2. Emotional Rollercoasters on Demand

One minute, you’re the bee’s knees; the next, you’re public enemy number one for texting back with a thumbs-up instead of a heart emoji. Narcissists thrive on unpredictability, keeping you guessing—and exhausted.

These emotional whiplashes force you to tiptoe around their moods, forever trying to decode the secret rules of engagement. It’s exhausting, and no, you’re not imagining it.

Setting boundaries is your ticket off their merry-go-round. Calmly refuse to engage in every manufactured crisis.

3. Gaslighting Like It’s an Olympic Sport

Ever left a conversation questioning your memory, sanity, or entire existence? That’s gaslighting, a narcissist’s party trick. They rewrite reality so convincingly, you’ll start to wonder if you actually did forget to feed their cat in 2017.

This manipulation isn’t just confusing—it chews up mental bandwidth. You’re left spinning, replaying conversations, and doubting yourself.

Keep a diary if you must, but above all, trust your gut. Not everything is up for debate—especially not your reality.

4. Taking Without Guilt

Need a hand moving house? Their back’s out. Need to borrow their stapler? It’s suddenly “on loan to a friend.” But heaven help you if you hesitate to drop everything for their minor inconvenience.

Narcissists are Olympic-level takers, always expecting your energy, time, or support as their birthright. Your needs? A minor subplot at best.

Practice the fine art of saying “no.” If it feels rude, remember: self-care is never impolite.

5. Criticism Wears a Disguise

Compliments are served with a side of “but.” (“You look great, but that shirt isn’t really your colour.”) Narcissists cloak criticism as “helpful feedback,” leaving you feeling perpetually off-balance.

All that second-guessing: it’s exhausting. You may find yourself triple-checking everything you say, wear, or do around them.

You don’t have to digest every backhanded comment. A polite smile and a mental note to disregard work wonders.

6. Drama Follows Them Everywhere

There’s always a feud, a crisis, a wrong to be righted. Even a trip to the post office can become a saga. Narcissists are drama magnets—and, conveniently, the star of every show.

All this chaos is draining. Before you know it, you’re invested in battles that have nothing to do with you.

Resist the urge to get pulled into their soap opera. Politely disengage or change the subject, and watch your own stress levels drop.

7. The Silent Treatment: Because Talking is Too Mainstream

When annoyed, narcissists often go radio silent—not to recharge, but to control you. This emotional freeze-out can last hours, days, or until you’re apologizing for something you didn’t do.

Cue the emotional limbo, where you’re left guessing what went wrong. That’s where your energy goes: straight into decoding their silence.

Don’t grovel or chase. Acknowledge their mood and carry on—sometimes indifference is more powerful than confrontation.

8. Boundaries Are Treated Like Suggestions

Told them you’re busy? They’ll call anyway. Asked for privacy? They’ll barge right in. Personal boundaries don’t exist in their playbook—they’re mere hurdles to leap for attention.

Constantly defending your limits wears you down. It’s like holding a fence together with dental floss.

State your boundaries clearly, then stick to them. Consistency is key; don’t give them the loopholes they’re searching for.

9. Empathy Is a Foreign Concept

Heartfelt moments are met with blank stares, indifference, or (worse) a comparison to their own “bigger” struggles. If you’re hoping for comfort, brace yourself for disappointment.

This emotional drought can make you feel alone, even in a crowd. Your emotional needs never get met; worse, you might stop voicing them altogether.

Seek out relationships where empathy isn’t extinct. Your feelings deserve better than a shrug and a segue back to their problems.

10. Turning You Into the Problem

Missed their birthday? It’s because you’re selfish. Upset about something they did? You’re “too sensitive.” Narcissists are pros at shifting blame and never own their mistakes.

Carrying this constant blame-game around is heavy work. You’re always apologizing, always striving to fix imaginary faults.

Stop accepting their script. Their issues? Not yours to carry.

Plugging the Energy Leaks

Narcissists don’t come with warning labels (unfortunately), but their energy-sucking signatures are hard to miss after a while.

If you recognize these patterns in someone close to you, it’s time to invest in some emotional insulation. Start with strong boundaries, a healthy support network, and a firm grip on your own reality.

And when in doubt, remember: relationships should fill your cup, not drain it dry.

Life’s too short to spend it running on empty—or listening to hour-long monologues about someone else’s haircut.

Your energy belongs to you; guard it accordingly.