10 Soulmate Lies Narcissists Tell You

Ever had someone gaze deeply into your eyes and declare you’re their “one and only,” only to later find out their definition of “one” includes half of Tinder?

Welcome to the world of narcissistic soulmate lies—a place where fantasy meets gaslighting and romance comes with a side of whiplash. Grab your cuppa and settle in.

1. Telling You It Was Destiny

The narcissist’s favorite opening move: fate. They’ll insist the two of you meeting was written in the stars—never mind that their “fate” involves sending the same DM to anyone with a pulse. Romance, sure. Originality? Not so much.

The real trick here is making you feel like you’re not just special—you’re basically mythical. If you ever challenge them, they’ll gasp, “But we’re soulmates!” as if that should excuse any unsavory behavior. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

2. Promising to Be Everything You Need

Cue the montage: romantic dinners, endless texts, and promises of lifelong devotion—until it’s time to take out the bins or listen to your actual needs.

Narcissists are pros at mirroring your desires. They’ll morph into your dream partner with such skill you’ll swear they’ve read your diary.

This isn’t so much love as it is identity theft. Suddenly, you’re in love with someone who seems to agree with every opinion, hobby, and snack preference you have.

The only thing more impressive than their devotion is their acting chops.

3. Claiming No One Else Will Love You Like They Do

Here comes the isolation package—gift-wrapped with guilt and a bow made of anxiety. A narcissist will insist their love is so unique, you’ll never find it elsewhere. It’s romantic until you realize it’s a sneaky way to keep you from leaving.

This is classic emotional manipulation. By making you believe you’re unlovable to anyone else, they keep you dancing to their tune—despite the fact that, newsflash, you’re absolutely lovable, and probably a delight at parties.

4. Telling You All Exes Were “Crazy” Except You

Every narcissist has a vault of exes, each more “unhinged” than the last—except, apparently, for you. For now.

Early on, you’ll hear horror stories about wild ex-girlfriends, jealous ex-boyfriends, and unworthy former flames. You’ll feel like you’re the only “sane” one to ever get them.

Here’s the punchline: these stories usually say more about the narcissist than their exes. Wait long enough, and you’ll join the vault.

5. Promising to Change This Time

That thing they did last week? Ancient history. The narcissist promises they’re about to turn over a new leaf—never mind that the leaf is actually a revolving door.

Their apologies are Oscar-worthy, but rarely backed by real self-reflection. If you’re keeping score at home, you’ll notice the same patterns popping up like a stubborn rash. R

eal change involves effort; lip service is just, well, service.

6. Insisting That Only You Truly Understand Them

“Only you get me,” they’ll say, probably after you’ve spent hours comforting them about some workplace slight or third cousin’s wedding drama.

Suddenly, you’re not just a partner—you’re a therapist, life coach, and psychic rolled into one.

This isn’t intimacy; it’s workload redistribution. You’ll find yourself carrying their emotional baggage, while yours mysteriously vanishes from the conversation.

7. Telling You They’re Just Protecting the Relationship

Ever been accused of flirting with the waiter because you asked for more bread? Narcissists excel at jealousy disguised as protection.

Soon, you’re fielding questions about your phone, friends, and the guy who smiled at you in 2009.

By calling their possessiveness “protection,” they give toxic behavior a shiny veneer. True love shouldn’t require CCTV-level surveillance.

8. Promising a Future That Never Arrives

Look, it’s 2040, and you’re still waiting for that “dream holiday together” or the moving-in date that’s just around the corner. Narcissists are architects of castles in the air—they’ll paint you a grand future, but forget to mention it’s entirely fictional.

This keeps you invested, hopeful, and always one compromise away from a relationship that never quite becomes real.

9. Swearing That You’re the Only One

Prepare for a masterclass in exclusivity—at least, the kind that happens while their phone is mysteriously glued to their palm. Narcissists have a knack for making you feel like the only person in the world, even as they collect admirers like novelty mugs.

If you ever question their faithfulness, you’ll get the old, “How could you doubt me? We’re soulmates!” routine—delivered with just enough outrage to make you feel guilty for even asking.

10. Blaming You for Every Problem

Last but never least: it’s always your fault. If they forget your birthday, you didn’t remind them. If they flirt with someone else, you “pushed them away.” Congratulations, you’re officially the scapegoat in your own love story.

Narcissists dodge accountability like it’s a sport. The soulmate script quickly turns into a solo performance, where you supply all the forgiveness and they collect all the excuses.

What Real Soulmates Don’t Do

No relationship is perfect. But here’s a secret: soulmates don’t come with a list of ultimatums, shifting personalities, or plot twists ripped from a daytime soap.

They’re supportive, honest, and yes, sometimes a little bit weird—but in a way that complements your own weirdness, not weaponizes it.

Spotting these soulmate lies isn’t about becoming cynical—it’s about valuing yourself enough to demand the kind of love that doesn’t come with fine print.

If your “soulmate” needs to keep you off-balance with fairy tales and guilt trips, it’s time to rewrite the script.

Fairytales are great. Real love is better.

And you don’t need anyone—narcissist or not—to tell you otherwise.