10 Signs a Narcissist Man Sees You as an Object

Some relationships come with red flags so bright they could guide ships into harbour during a blackout. If you keep feeling more like a houseplant (one that waters itself) than a cherished partner, it might not be your imagination.

Narcissistic men have a particular talent for treating people like objects—furniture, perhaps, or a handy emotional punching bag. Let’s cut through the fluff and talk about the standout warning signs that you’re being objectified, not adored.

1. Everything Is About His Needs

Ever notice how the universe seems to revolve around him? If your plans, preferences, and even your pizza toppings mysteriously transform into “his decision,” it’s not a cosmic coincidence.

A narcissist man will rarely ask what you want. If he does, it’s often just window dressing—he’s already made up his mind. Your role? To accommodate, adapt, and applaud his choices.

It’s less “partnership,” more “personal assistant with benefits.”

2. He Lacks Genuine Interest in Your Feelings

Try sharing good news, bad news, or anything in between, and watch his eyes glaze over like a stale donut. Your emotions are set dressing in the grand theatre of his life.

There’s no real curiosity about your day or how you’re coping. If you’re upset, expect a swift change of subject or, worse, blame. You’re not expected to feel—you’re expected to function.

3. He Controls, Monitors, or Manipulates Your Actions

Ever find yourself double-checking a text, second-guessing an outfit, or declining plans because of how he might react?

If you’re living on eggshells, it’s not a sign of a “passionate” relationship; it’s a sign he’s treating you more like property than a partner.

Whether it’s snooping through your phone or dropping unsubtle hints about who you can see, his mission is to mould your life to fit his needs.

4. He’s Disinterested in Your Boundaries

If you say “no” and he hears “try harder,” welcome to the narcissist’s boundary bulldozing service. Your comfort zone isn’t sacred; it’s just another hurdle to be cleared.

This might show up as persistent pressure for intimacy, prying into your personal affairs, or ignoring your clear requests. To him, boundaries are like speed bumps—annoying, but easy enough to roll right over.

5. Conversations Are One-Sided (Spoiler: He’s the Main Character)

Ever start a story and end up an extra in your own monologue? Narcissist men treat conversations like soliloquys—yours are for listening, his are for talking.

If you tally up your verbal airtime and find yourself coming in dead last, it’s not a healthy sign. Your voice matters. If he disagrees, he’s not seeing a partner; he’s seeing a backdrop.

6. Transactions Trump Affection

Genuine connection? Please. With a narcissist, everything comes with an unspoken price tag. Compliments, favours, and even basic kindness are transactional.

Did you do something nice? He’ll remind you, maybe even weeks later, when he wants something in return. Love shouldn’t feel like haggling at a dodgy car boot sale.

7. Public and Private Personas Don’t Match

The charming, attentive boyfriend who appears in public? He tends to vanish the minute the door closes. With others, he’s attentive, generous, and maybe even a bit of a show-off.

Alone with you, he drops the mask. The jokes stop landing, affection dries up, and you’re left with someone who only shows warmth when there’s an audience. It’s basically personality whiplash.

8. He Minimizes or Gaslights Your Concerns

Ever leave an argument wondering if you’re losing the plot? When a narcissist man treats you like an object, your concerns are either dismissed or twisted until you begin doubting your grip on reality.

You point out a hurtful comment, and suddenly he’s the victim. You ask for support, and somehow you’re the needy one. It’s not compromise—it’s confusion, on repeat.

9. There’s Zero Accountability

The track record for apologies? Non-existent. Fault is a foreign concept unless it’s being handed to you like a hot potato.

He’ll blame you, his ex, his upbringing, the weather—anyone and anything gets a look-in except him.

If you’re always the one doing the emotional heavy lifting and saying sorry (even for things you didn’t do), he’s treating you like an object, not a partner.

10. Your Value Is Based on What You Provide

Unconditional love? Not in his vocabulary. Your worth is measured in what you do for him—sex, status, social connections, or even just an ego boost.

When you’re sick, tired, or unavailable, his interest wanes.

Your needs? Inconvenient. Your value? Directly tied to how useful you are. You’re not his equal; you’re his accessory.

When Objects Speak Up

Relationships should leave you feeling seen, heard, and respected—not shelved.

Spotting these signs doesn’t mean you’re dramatic. It means you’re paying attention.

Trust your gut over his gaslighting and consider what a healthy, reciprocal partnership looks like for you. If self-care feels radical, so be it.

You deserve more than being someone’s mirror, prop, or emotional vending machine. If any of these points hit home, don’t be afraid to start the conversation—first with yourself, and then, maybe, with a mate you trust.

Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is stop being someone’s object and start being your own person.