10 Gaslighting Phrases Narcissist Men Use

Wouldn’t it be lovely if every disagreement was just two people trying to understand each other?

Pour yourself a cuppa and let’s wake up from that dream. When narcissism enters stage left, reality can take a backseat and gaslighting grabs the wheel.

Gaslighting isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a masterclass in emotional gymnastics. Narcissist men, in particular, have an Olympic-level repertoire of phrases designed to scramble your sense of self.

If you’ve ever walked away from an argument feeling like you’ve entered another dimension, you’re in the right place.

Ready to spot the nonsense before it hits you upside the head? Time to unpack the 10 classics straight from the narcissist playbook.

1. You’re Overreacting

A personal favourite for those who want to make you question your own emotional temperature. Maybe he just “casually” forgot your birthday or called your best friend “clingy” to her face.

When you point out that this hurts, suddenly you’re the one with the problem.

This phrase is a tidy little trap: it allows his behaviour to slide under the radar while you’re left wondering if maybe you do have a flair for the dramatic.

Spoiler: Passionate people aren’t the problem. People who trample boundaries and then call you “too sensitive” are.

Practical move: Pause, breathe, and ask yourself, “Would I ever say that to someone else in this situation?” If the answer’s no, your emotional radar is probably just fine.

2. That Never Happened

Gaslighting’s pièce de résistance. You recall a conversation—every word, every sigh. Apparently, it never existed. According to him, you’ve been making up stories that would put Hollywood to shame.

Here’s the plot twist: denying reality doesn’t erase what happened. It just makes you question your memory—and sometimes, your sanity.

Clever hack: Keep a journal or text thread to quietly keep receipts. Not because you owe him proof, but so that you can separate fact from fiction next time the world gets wobbly.

3. You’re Just Being Paranoid

Who knew you were starring in your own spy thriller? At least, that’s the image he wants you to believe.

If you express a perfectly reasonable concern (“Hey, why did you hide your phone when I walked in?”), suddenly you’re James Bond in yoga pants.

Paranoia, in this context, isn’t about facts. It’s about making you feel foolish for trusting your gut.

Reframe the insult: Healthy relationships thrive on trust and openness, not secrecy and accusations lobbed like dodgeballs. Your intuition is more than just a party trick—don’t let him convince you otherwise.

4. You’re Too Emotional

Apparently, emotional women are the root of all relationship woes. Good thing he’s here to keep things logical (and by logical, we mean entirely about him).

This phrase is a brick wall for communication. By labelling your feelings as “too much,” he sidelines the conversation, so your needs never get a seat at the table.

Reality check: Emotions are data. Full stop. If someone’s allergic to feelings, that’s not your allergy to manage. Give yourself permission to feel, and find people who respect your emotional range.

5. I Was Just Joking

Every insult, every jab, every boundary crossed—just a bit of banter! Can’t you take a joke?

If you protest, you’re “uptight.” If you laugh along, the jabs get sharper. This is emotional manipulation with a punchline—except nobody’s laughing but him.

What helps? Call out the “joke” for what it is, calmly and directly. If he doubles down, you’ve got proof the cruelty wasn’t accidental.

6. You’re Imagining Things

Similar to “That never happened,” but with a pinch of “your mind is a funhouse mirror.” Spotting lipstick on his shirt? Clearly a hallucination. Hear your name being mentioned in a group chat? Must be the wind.

When he hands you this phrase, it’s his way of rewriting reality with himself (unsurprisingly) as the hero.

Best defence: Trust your senses. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably not an imaginary platypus. Your mind isn’t conspiring against you.

7. Everybody Agrees With Me

Nothing says “teamwork” like rallying an invisible army. Suddenly, “everyone” thinks you’re overbearing, “all” his friends think you’re difficult, and “nobody” else would put up with your quirks.

This phrase is groupthink on steroids. He’s stacking the deck so you feel outnumbered, isolated, and desperate for his approval.

Counterstrike: Ask for specifics. “Who, exactly?” Odds are, the ghostly support squad will vanish. Genuine partners don’t need a peanut gallery to back them up.

8. You’re Making a Big Deal Out of Nothing

Ah, the classic minimisation. He missed your graduation, forgot your anniversary, or spilled your secrets. But hey, why are you making such a fuss?

This isn’t just brushing things under the rug—it’s buying a whole new rug and burying your feelings out back.

Solid strategy: Don’t shrink your standards to fit someone else’s comfort zone. If it’s important to you, it’s not “nothing.” Your priorities matter, and anyone worth loving knows that.

9. If You Really Loved Me, You Would…

Time for emotional blackmail, now with added guilt sprinkles. Suddenly, love is measured in sacrifices—your trust, your boundaries, your bank account (or all three, if he’s ambitious).

The unspoken message: “Prove your love by doing things that make me happy, even if you hate them.” Cute, right?

Set a hard stop here. Love isn’t scored like an Olympic event. Anyone who demands constant proof is more interested in control than connection.

10. You’re Just Trying to Start a Fight

Challenging his behaviour? Voicing your needs? Clearly, you’re a drama magnet looking for conflict.

This phrase is an all-access pass to avoid accountability. If every tough conversation is “picking a fight,” you’ll start swallowing your needs just to keep the peace.

Flip the script: Relationships aren’t supposed to be silent films. Disagreements are normal; emotional blackmail isn’t. Never apologise for wanting honesty and respect.

Knowing What’s Real Again

If these phrases sound familiar, you’re not alone (even if he’s tried to make you think otherwise). Gaslighting leaves you feeling upside down, but every step you take to spot the pattern is a step back toward your own reality.

Your feelings aren’t an inconvenience; they’re a compass. No one has the right to rewrite your story, edit your memories, or draft your character in their drama without your permission.

Every relationship should be a space where you can feel, question, and speak up without fear of being branded “crazy,” “dramatic,” or “paranoid.”

If someone’s tossing out these phrases like confetti at a particularly awkward parade, it’s time to draw your own line.

Truth time: You’re not out of touch with reality. You’re waking up to it.

And that’s more powerful than any gaslighting script ever written.