9 Deadly Ways Narcissists Project – #7 Will Shock You

If you’ve ever left an argument with a narcissist feeling like you accidentally wandered into the Upside Down, you’re not alone. Narcissists have a truly Olympic-level talent for projection—flinging their own flaws at you before you have a chance to duck.

Grab a cuppa, steel your nerves, and let’s dissect the nine most treacherous ways narcissists project (and how to dodge the emotional shrapnel).

1 .They Blame You for Their Own Jealousy

Narcissists are about as subtle as a marching band in a library when it comes to jealousy. If they’re eyeing your new work friend with suspicion, they’ll turn around and accuse you of being the jealous one.

“Why are you so suspicious of me?” they’ll ask, after snooping through your phone for the third time this week.

This kind of projection keeps you on the defensive, scrambling to prove your innocence, while their own green-eyed monster goes unchecked.

Cue the grand performance: now you’re the “insecure” one, apparently. Next time this happens, mentally step back and ask yourself—who’s really doing the accusing, and who started the jealousy spiral?

2. They Accuse You of Lying While Spinning Whoppers

Nothing says “trust issues” quite like a narcissist’s obsession with honesty—at least, your honesty.

Meanwhile, their own relationship with the truth is a bit like a toddler’s relationship with a cookie jar: enthusiastic, opportunistic, and almost always sticky.

They’ll grill you for every suspicious detail (“Why did you say you were at the shops for 37 minutes instead of 34?”), all while hiding their own web of half-truths, omissions, and tall tales.

Here’s the magic trick: if you find yourself feeling guilty for things you know you haven’t done, check whose stories aren’t adding up. Spoiler alert: it’s not you.

3. They Accuse You of Being Selfish When They Want Attention

If there’s one thing a narcissist loves more than a mirror, it’s being the centre of attention. When your needs finally bubble to the surface, prepare to be hit with a classic: “Why are you always thinking about yourself?”

Meanwhile, their own desire to be fawned over, catered to, and validated goes unquestioned.

This is projection at its best: convincing you that having boundaries makes you selfish, even as they demand everything short of a parade in their honour.

Try flipping the script—your needs matter just as much as theirs, no matter what they say (or pout).

4. They Call You Controlling to Avoid Accountability

Ever tried to have a straightforward conversation about boundaries with a narcissist? Suddenly, you’re the “control freak,” micromanaging their every move.

Forget the fact that they’re the ones monitoring your friendships or sulking when you want a night out.

By accusing you of being controlling, narcissists sidestep any responsibility for their own overbearing behaviour. It’s like being lectured on healthy eating by someone with one hand in the biscuit tin.

Don’t fall for it—setting limits is healthy, not controlling.

5. They Say You’re Overly Sensitive as a Deflection

Express genuine hurt or discomfort, and brace yourself: “You’re so sensitive!” It’s the narcissist’s way of dodging any real discussion about their behaviour.

By framing you as overly emotional, they avoid taking responsibility for what they’ve said or done.

Here’s a secret: sensitivity is not a flaw; it’s an early warning system. If something feels off, it probably is. The real issue isn’t your feelings—it’s their refusal to face them.

6. They Accuse You of Cheating When They’re the Guilty One

Here’s where things get spicy. When narcissists stray, their paranoia shifts into overdrive. Suddenly, every glance at your phone or innocent smile at a barista is evidence you’re the one with wandering eyes.

This type of projection is especially cruel because it mixes emotional manipulation with outright gaslighting. Trust your gut. If accusations come out of nowhere, there’s a good chance they’re revealing more about themselves than you.

7. They Project Their Insecurity by Criticizing Your Confidence

Brace yourself, this is the one that really stings. Narcissists can’t stand seeing you succeed, shine, or—heaven forbid—feel good about yourself. Instead of cheerleading your achievements, they’ll take every opportunity to chip away at your self-esteem.

It starts with backhanded compliments (“You looked good, for once!”) or subtle digs (“Don’t get a big head about that promotion…”).

The goal? Drag your confidence down to their level, so they don’t have to face their own insecurities. Honestly, it’s less “tough love” and more psychological sabotage.

Spotting this in real time can be tough. If you notice your self-worth dropping every time you’re around them, take note. Their criticism is about their issues, not your worth.

8. They Claim You’re the Drama Queen When They’re Stirring the Pot

Raise a concern or express frustration, and suddenly, you’re the one “causing drama.” Meanwhile, the narcissist is in the background, lighting metaphorical fires and then acting shocked when there’s smoke.

This projection tactic keeps you second-guessing whether your reactions are valid. Here’s a simple test: are you honestly reacting, or are you being baited into a scene?

More often than not, the narcissist is the playwright, and you’re just following the script.

9. They Accuse You of Neglecting the Relationship While They Check Out

Perhaps the most infuriating projection of all: being blamed for relationship neglect when they’re the ones emotionally MIA. Whether it’s endless scrolling, unexplained absences, or plain disinterest, narcissists have a knack for turning the tables.

Suddenly, you’re the “cold” or “distant” one, no matter how much effort you put in. This tactic keeps you working overtime to “fix” things, while they collect all the emotional benefits with none of the work.

Consider this your permission slip to stop chasing their approval.

Dodging the Projectiles: How to Protect Yourself

Now for the million-dollar question: how do you shield yourself from a narcissist’s projection arsenal?

Start with reality checks. Notice whose behaviour isn’t matching up with their accusations. Keep records if things get particularly messy—think of it as collecting receipts, just in case you need to remind yourself who said what.

Boundaries are your best mate. Narcissists hate them, but that’s exactly why you need them. Quiet confidence, clear communication, and refusing to engage in endless “who’s really at fault” debates will save your sanity.

Above all, remember: projection is about control. The goal is to keep you off-balance and questioning your own reality. Trust your instincts.

If you feel like you’re being blamed for things that just don’t line up, you probably are.

And if “#7” hit a little too close to home? Take a breath, phone a friend, and give yourself permission to toss their criticism back over the fence where it belongs.

Surviving the narcissist’s projection Olympics takes nerve, wit, and the occasional eye roll. You’ve got this.