9 Sickening Things Narcissists Do for Attention

Ever felt like you’ve walked into a soap opera, but nobody handed you a script? If so, you might have crossed paths with a narcissist. These folks have more tricks for grabbing attention than a toddler with a drum set.

Whether it’s your mother-in-law, your ex, or your boss who somehow makes your promotion about their “guidance,” narcissists craft chaos the way bakers make bread—early, often, and with alarming enthusiasm.

Prepare yourself for a tour through the nine most stomach-churning attention-seeking stunts narcissists pull, and—most importantly—how to sidestep the emotional shrapnel tonight.

1. Public Meltdowns Worthy of an Oscar

Narcissists never met a scene they didn’t want to steal. Ever watched someone absolutely lose their marbles at a birthday dinner because the server brought the wrong salad dressing?

That’s not just high maintenance—that’s narcissistic performance art.

They’re not content to keep a grievance private. No, they’ll air it out in front of an audience, milking every gasp, side-eye, and awkward silence.

Emotional fireworks are their specialty, and they’d like a standing ovation, thanks.

How to cope: Stay as neutral as a beige wall. The less you react, the less they get out of the show. If you need to, excuse yourself for some “fresh air”—and maybe a stiff drink.

2. Playing the Perpetual Victim

You know that one friend who turns “my Wi-Fi is slow” into a Greek tragedy? Narcissists take victimhood to dizzying heights. Every slight, real or imagined, becomes evidence that the universe is plotting against them.

Why do they do it? Sympathy equals attention. And attention is the lifeblood of a narcissist. Get ready for stories that always circle back to their suffering—no matter who stubbed their toe or got fired.

What helps: Limit how much emotional labor you invest. Listen with polite detachment, but don’t let yourself be guilt-tripped into solving problems that don’t belong to you.

3. Triangulation: Turning People Into Pawns

If you ever feel like you’re in a group text where everyone’s getting a different story, congratulations, you’ve been triangulated.

Narcissists pit friends, family, or coworkers against each other, feeding selective information to keep everyone off balance.

It’s equal parts psychological thriller and high school cafeteria drama. They do it not just for attention, but to maintain control—and to ensure they remain at the center of everyone’s universe.

Your move: Refuse to be dragged into the crossfire. Make a habit of confirming details directly with others, and sidestep taking sides. Drama denied.

4. The Grand Gesture That Comes With Strings

A narcissist’s idea of generosity might look grand, but there’s always a hook buried in the fine print.

Maybe they buy an extravagant gift, help with a big project, or throw you a party—but you’ll pay for it with loyalty, praise, or emotional debt.

Sooner or later, you’ll hear “after all I’ve done for you…” Like a magician’s trick, their generosity vanishes once the applause dies down, replaced with an invoice for your gratitude.

What works: Thank them once, keep boundaries firm, and don’t be afraid to question the motives behind out-of-character kindness.

5. Stealing the Spotlight During Your Big Moments

Nothing torpedoes your celebration quite like a narcissist in the room. You get a promotion, and they suddenly announce a life-changing crisis or accomplishment of their own.

Your engagement party? Oh, look, they want to share their divorce news or dominate the toast.

Their need for attention can’t handle someone else’s good day. The result is a hijacked moment and a room full of people politely wondering if it’s too late to leave.

Takeaway: Don’t compete. Calmly reclaim your moment and invite the conversation back to the real reason for the gathering.

If they persist, remember, their neediness isn’t a reflection on your worth.

6. Love Bombing With All the Bells and Whistles

At first, it feels like winning the romantic lottery: gifts, flattery, undivided attention. You’re walking around feeling like royalty—until, of course, the royal treatment abruptly ends and the criticism creeps in.

Love bombing is how narcissists reel you in. It’s all about dazzling you, fast-tracking trust, and making you dependent on their approval. When the adoration dries up, you’ll do almost anything to get it back.

Defensive play: Take your time. If someone’s coming on too strong, too soon, keep your feet on the ground and your inner skeptic awake.

7. Social Media Circus Acts

Narcissists treat social media like their personal reality show—and you’re just an extra. Every humblebrag, cryptic woe-is-me post, or overshared selfie is another desperate bid for likes and sympathy.

The “vaguebook” status updates (“Some people are so fake… you know who you are”) are designed to fish for attention—or start a rage-fueled guessing game among friends.

How to respond: Let them perform. Double-tap if you want, but refrain from engaging in the comment drama. Social media boundaries are your best friend.

8. Master Manipulation of Conversations

Ever met someone who can twist any story back to themselves? You share a childhood memory, and suddenly it’s all about their more traumatic, heroic, or impressive version.

Narcissists treat conversations like competitive sports. It’s always their turn to score. Your role? Cheerleader, audience, or—if you’re lucky—a prop.

Best strategy: Listen, but don’t get sucked into the monologue. Politely, but firmly, steer the conversation back or excuse yourself when it’s clear they’re only interested in hearing their own voice.

9. Playing Doctor With Your Emotions

The emotional whiplash is real. One minute, they’re lavishing you with praise. Next, they’re tearing you down with casual cruelty. Keep you guessing, and you’ll be too distracted to notice who’s really pulling the strings.

This hot-and-cold routine isn’t just exhausting—it’s designed to make you work harder for their attention and approval. The more you chase, the more power they have.

Remedy: Call out the inconsistency—calmly. Step back if you feel emotionally scrambled. You’re not obligated to ride their rollercoaster.

Escaping the Narcissist Attention Trap

Living or working with a narcissist can feel like starring in a one-person show where you’re not even allowed to hold the microphone. Recognizing these classic attention-seeking moves is your first line of defense.

The real trick? Stop handing out standing ovations. Refuse to fuel the drama.

Protect your boundaries (and your sanity) with the confidence of someone who’s seen it all—because, with a narcissist, you probably have.

If you find yourself exhausted and emotionally wrung out after every encounter, it’s not you. You’re not boring or flawed—you’re simply sharing airspace with a world-class attention thief.

Tonight, practice saying “no,” take up a little more space for yourself, and watch their spotlight start to flicker.

And if all else fails, there’s always “fresh air.” Or, barring that, a convincing excuse involving a sudden, urgent need to rearrange your sock drawer.