9 Narcissist Red Flags They’re Already Over You

Ever feel like your relationship’s gone from spicy to room-temp oatmeal overnight? When you’re partnered with a narcissist, that chill isn’t just in your imagination.

Narcissists aren’t exactly famous for their subtlety once they’re done with a relationship. The signs are there—if you know what to look for. Grab your emotional raincoat, and let’s wade through the storm together.

1. Attention? What Attention?

Remember when they hung on your every word, grinned at your texts like they’d won the lottery, and acted like you were the main character in their romcom fantasy?

Suddenly, you have a better chance of getting their attention with smoke signals than a message. Narcissists are all about the chase, but once their interest fizzles, so does their effort.

Dates get cancelled, texts go unanswered, and your stories are greeted by yawns or a blank stare usually reserved for tax returns.

2. The Charm Has Left the Building

That dazzling charisma that sucked you in? Gone without a trace. Now, you get sarcasm, rolled eyes, and the occasional grunt if you’re lucky.

Compliments are extinct—replaced with nitpicking, criticism, or, my personal favorite, “helpful advice” that leaves you doubting your worth. The narcissist’s famous charm is now reserved for new admirers or anyone but you.

3. Emotional Bandwidth: Zero

Emotional support has left the chat. When you share a fear, hope, or frustration, your narcissist partner responds with a shrug, a lecture, or a story about how it’s even harder for them.

Need comfort? You’d get more warmth from hugging a cactus. It’s not that they can’t be empathetic; it’s that they’ve lost interest in being empathetic with you.

4. Gaslighting Gets Upgraded

Narcissists are never shy about rewriting history, but the script gets especially creative once they’re done with you. Suddenly, your perfectly reasonable feelings are “ridiculous,” your memories are “all wrong,” and every argument is your fault.

They’ll insist you’re “too sensitive” or “always upset over nothing.” (Spoiler: You’re not.) This isn’t about misunderstanding; it’s about making you doubt your reality until you’re dizzy.

5. They’re Shopping for New Supply

The narcissist’s wandering eye isn’t just wandering—it’s taken up residence elsewhere. Flirtatious DMs, unexplained late nights, and an endless parade of “just friends” are all par for the course. They’re not even subtle about it, either.

The thrill of new attention is too tasty for them to resist, and hiding it would take actual effort.

6. Everything Is Transactional

Suddenly, every favor, conversation, or kind gesture has strings attached. If you want a sliver of their attention, it comes with a bill: “Fine, I’ll listen, but only if you…” or “Guess you owe me now.”

Any sense of partnership has left the building, replaced by a running tally that never works in your favor. Generosity? Not unless there’s something in it for them.

7. Public Persona, Private Nightmare

To the outside world, they’re still the same charming, attentive partner—maybe even amping it up. Social media is packed with sweet couple pics or posts about how “lucky” they are.

Meanwhile, behind closed doors, you’re getting the cold shoulder and a healthy dose of contempt. The performance is for the audience, not for you. Nothing says “I’m done here” like reserving all their best behavior for literally everyone else.

8. Picking Fights Becomes a Hobby

Little things that used to be no big deal now spark World War III. The toothpaste cap, your laugh, your very existence—suddenly, everything’s a reason to argue.

Narcissists will manufacture drama to justify emotional distance or, more cynically, to make you break up with them so they don’t have to get their hands dirty. You might even catch yourself apologizing for things you didn’t do, just for the peace and quiet.

9. The Grand Exit Is Coming

When narcissists are over you, they don’t just fade away—they plot a dramatic exit complete with blame, projection, and a sob story for anyone who’ll listen.

They might ghost you, start dating someone new overnight, or launch an Oscar-worthy campaign about how you “changed.” If you’re left dazed and confused, well, that’s the point. Closure is as rare as a unicorn in these situations.

When It’s Time to Call It

Spotting these red flags hurts—no use sugarcoating it.

You might still be holding on to the person they were at the beginning, not the one who’s tuned out now. The narcissist’s cold shoulder isn’t your fault, and it’s not your job to thaw it out.

What you do next is up to you, but here’s the big secret: You deserve a relationship where you don’t have to chase affection, beg for kindness, or translate every conversation like it’s in ancient Greek.

No grand finale required—just the quiet satisfaction of moving towards peace.

And if you need an excuse to treat yourself to that fancy dessert or a night out with your mates, “My narcissist is over me” works just fine.