9 Cruel Things Narcissists Do When Alone

Ever wonder what goes on behind the curtain when a narcissist isn’t busy dazzling or tormenting an audience? Turns out, the show must go on—even when the room’s empty.

Narcissists are notorious for their outlandish behavior in public, but their solo acts can be equally unsettling, just without the applause (or witnesses).

If you’ve ever suspected that something dark and twisty happens when they’re left to their own devices, your instincts are sharper than you think.

Ready to find out what those solo hours look like for the world’s most self-obsessed performers? Pull up a chair, pour yourself something nice, and let’s peek through the keyhole.

1. Plotting Revenge Fantasies

While most of us use quiet time to scroll memes or contemplate dinner, narcissists savor every alone moment planning the ultimate comeback.

They replay perceived “wrongs” like a director with too much time and not enough talent, scripting elaborate scenes of triumphant payback.

Every slight, real or imagined, is catalogued. Each “enemy” (translation: anyone who bruised their ego) stars in a melodramatic scenario where the narcissist emerges as the victorious hero—or the tragic victim, depending on the day.

This isn’t just idle daydreaming. It’s fuel. The next time you catch them with a smug smirk while staring off into space, don’t be shocked if you’re co-starring in some epic internal soap opera.

2. Obsessively Stalking on Social Media

A narcissist’s relationship with social media is a special kind of toxic romance. Alone time means pulling up every profile, story, and status update, especially those belonging to exes, rivals, or anybody who once dared to ignore their selfie.

The scrolling isn’t casual. It’s forensic. Who liked whose post? Who’s living a better life? Why did that one friend comment “LOL” on your vacation pic and not theirs?

Expect Olympic-level mental gymnastics as they compare, compete, and concoct reasons why everyone else is either obsessed with or jealous of them.

Naturally, any evidence of someone else’s happiness or success is quickly dismissed as fake, boring, or somehow a personal attack.

The comment section, meanwhile, is their battlefield—waging passive-aggressive wars that nobody else even knows they’re fighting.

3. Rewriting History

Left unsupervised, a narcissist will happily edit their life story as if auditioning for a dramatic miniseries. Details shift. Memories get a facelift.

Suddenly, they were always the victim or the dazzling genius, never the villain or—heaven forbid—the one who made a mistake.

This solo script-writing isn’t just reserved for the big moments. Even last week’s argument about who left the milk out gets spun into a saga where their logic was flawless and your “tone” was criminal.

If you ever try to compare notes, don’t be surprised when they insist on a version of events that only makes sense in a parallel universe where they’re always right.

Alone, they sharpen their narrative until it’s ready to unleash on the next unsuspecting audience.

4. Fantasizing About Admiration

Narcissists alone? Welcome to the greatest fantasy awards gala never televised. That empty room is filled with imaginary fans, gushing exes, and envious coworkers—everyone who’s ever failed to properly appreciate their so-called brilliance.

They rehearse compliments they’ll probably never hear, invent applause breaks for their latest “accomplishments,” and picture future successes knocking everyone’s socks off. The solo standing ovation is strong with this one.

These private daydreams aren’t just for fun; they’re sustenance. Narcissists crave validation like the rest of us crave carbs. Lacking a live audience, they conjure up their own, and the applause is always thunderous.

5. Engaging in Secret Self-Destruction

Behind all the bluster and bravado, many narcissists have a hidden self-destructive streak. Alone, they might binge on substances, compulsively shop online, gamble, or indulge in other risky behaviors.

All that bravado is one hell of a mask—remove the audience and things can get pretty messy.

Self-sabotage is rarely visible to others. On the outside, they’ll maintain that perfect Instagram-ready persona. Alone, all bets are off.

The crash afterward? Usually blamed on someone else, obviously.

Partners often miss this side, because the narcissist’s shame is buried deep. But it’s there, quietly poisoning their sense of self, and fueling the next day’s need for adoration.

6. Practicing Manipulation Tactics

Think training montage, but instead of Rocky running up stairs, it’s your narcissist refining their gaslighting and emotional blackmail.

Alone time isn’t spent on self-reflection—unless you count rehearsing how to twist your words or flip blame as self-improvement.

They’ll practice dramatic speeches, fake apologies, and even “tears” in the mirror. If there’s a big confrontation coming up, expect some serious rehearsals, complete with facial expressions and strategic pauses.

Preparedness is their secret weapon. When the curtain rises and you’re drawn into another manipulative exchange, you’re not improvising. They’ve been perfecting this scene all afternoon.

7. Fantasizing About “Upgrades”

Narcissists are rarely content with what—or who—they have. When left to their own devices, they dream about trading up: better jobs, flashier friends, more attractive partners.

That endless comparison game doesn’t pause just because you’re not watching.

Fantasies of being adored by a new lover or “winning” in a career move feed the narrative that they deserve better, and everyone around them is holding them back.

The grass isn’t just greener elsewhere; it’s a golf course, and they’re convinced they deserve to own it.

This mindset isn’t harmless. It primes them to devalue those closest to them, always quietly calculating if there’s someone shinier out there just waiting to worship at their feet.

8. Projecting Blame onto Others (Even When Alone)

If you think narcissists need an audience to assign blame, think again. Alone, they run through every relationship, squabble, or life disappointment, mentally pinning every misfortune on someone else.

Stubbed their toe? Clearly your fault for leaving your shoes out (even if you haven’t visited in weeks).

Didn’t get the job? The interviewer must have been threatened by their brilliance.

They’ll go over every scenario, justifying their feelings, and convincing themselves that the world is conspiring against them. No guilt, just a never-ending internal trial where everyone else is guilty.

9. Indulging in Grandiose Daydreams

Ordinary folks might fantasize about winning the lottery or getting a better parking spot. Narcissists? They’re busy imagining global fame, wild riches, and endless adoration.

Alone, they’re starring in blockbuster movies, launching world-changing businesses, and winning Nobel Prizes—sometimes all at once.

These fantasies aren’t just idle wishes. They’re deeply cherished beliefs that someday, the world will finally catch up to how fabulous they already see themselves.

Then, after a solid hour of mentally collecting imaginary trophies, they remerge, beaming with the confidence of someone who just conquered Everest (even if they’ve only managed to conquer their snack drawer).

When the Mask Slips and the Door Closes

Narcissists love an audience, but the real theatrics begin when they’re alone.

Every cruel thing on this list is powered by the same engine: a desperate need to feel superior, justified, and admired—even if it means rewriting memories, plotting revenge, or acting out imaginary conversations with the dog (who, let’s be honest, judges them a little bit too).

If you spot these patterns in someone close to you, don’t blame yourself for their bad behavior. Their private world is built on shaky ground: endless comparison, defensiveness, and a fantasy life that needs constant feeding.

The best antidote? Anchor yourself in reality, trust your gut, and never be afraid to set boundaries—even if it means calling out the nonsense, with a smile, the next time their one-person show tries to drag you into the spotlight.

Who knows, maybe the real hero is the one who walks out before the next act.