8 Relationship Duties Narcissists Always Avoid
A relationship with a narcissist can feel like juggling flaming swords while tiptoeing through a minefield—blindfolded. Just when you finally spot one of their tricks, there’s a new one waiting behind the next emotional corner.
If you’ve ever wondered why your partner dodges certain responsibilities with the agility of a caffeinated squirrel, you’re not alone.
Let’s pull back the curtain on eight relationship duties that narcissists are notorious for sidestepping, ghosting, or flat-out pretending don’t exist.
1. Emotional Labor Is a Foreign Concept
Ever notice how you end up soothing their every mood swing, but when you’re upset, it’s suddenly a national holiday for their ego?
Emotional labor—the invisible work of managing feelings, smoothing tension, and keeping the relational peace—is a job narcissists avoid like it’s contagious.
Need comfort after a rough day? Their idea of support resembles a motivational poster taped to a brick wall. They’ll nod, say, “Tough luck,” and swiftly reroute the conversation back to their own heroics at work.
If you’re hoping for a little emotional reciprocity, brace for disappointment.
2. Apologizing Is Always Optional (for Them)
Genuine apologies demand humility, self-reflection, and a pinch of vulnerability. For narcissists, these qualities are as rare as a unicorn at a dog show.
Admitting fault feels to them like surrendering a throne—never going to happen.
Blame gets shifted, minimized, or spun into a conspiracy against their spotless reputation. Standard playbook: “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or the classic, “Everyone makes mistakes, but let’s not dwell on the past.”
Translation? Next to no accountability, ever.
3. Shared Responsibilities Are for Mere Mortals
Dishes, laundry, bills—someone’s got to do them. But for narcissists, household chores are apparently beneath their royal status.
They’ll “forget,” “be too busy,” or claim you’re so much better at it (which isn’t quite the compliment it sounds like).
If you’re partnered with a narcissist, odds are you’re also their uncredited house manager. Trying to get them to split the load is like teaching a cat to fetch: you’ll only end up more tired.
4. Supporting Your Success Feels Like a Threat
Bring home good news—a promotion, a personal best, anything worth celebrating—and watch the narcissist’s smile freeze like a bad waxwork. Ideally, partners cheer each other on.
But in the narcissist’s playbook, your wins threaten their sense of superiority.
At best, they’ll give you lukewarm praise followed by a tale of their own awesomeness. At worst, they’ll downplay your achievement, poke holes in it, or act as though you’ve ruined their day.
It’s not you; it’s their bottomless need to be the only star in the room.
5. Honest Communication Isn’t on the Menu
Conversations with narcissists can feel like playing chess with someone who keeps eating the pieces. Transparent, vulnerable dialogue? Forget it.
Communication is a one-way street paved with manipulation, deflection, and dramatic exits.
Try to bring up an issue, and suddenly you’re the villain in a soap opera. If you’re hoping for meaningful talks about feelings, values, or the relationship’s future, prepare to be stonewalled or guilt-tripped until you give up.
6. Compromise Is a Dirty Word
Every healthy relationship runs on compromise. Try suggesting it to a narcissist, and watch the fireworks. Their needs always outrank yours, and any sign of you standing your ground is sure to trigger outrage or silent treatment.
Negotiating with a narcissist is like playing Monopoly with someone who changes the rules every turn and then accuses you of cheating. Eventually, you’ll find yourself giving in just to keep the peace. Spoiler: peace is not on the menu.
7. Showing Consistent Empathy Just Isn’t Their Thing
Empathy, that glue of human connection, is mysteriously absent when dealing with narcissists. If you stub your toe, lose a job, or just need a hug, don’t expect heartfelt reassurance.
Instead, your pain gets dismissed, ignored, or—best case scenario—used as a springboard for their own stories of hardship. “You think you had a bad day? Let me tell you…” Sound familiar? You’re not imagining it.
8. Being Truly Reliable Is Optional
Trust is built by keeping promises and showing up. Narcissists? Not exactly known for their reliability. Expect last-minute cancellations, forgotten commitments, and broken promises.
Sometimes they’ll turn it around and make you feel guilty for even expecting basic courtesy.
If you need someone to have your back, relying on a narcissist is a bit like expecting Wi-Fi in the middle of the woods—frustrating and not going to happen.
How to Keep Your Sanity (and Your Self-Respect)
No relationship is perfect, but when you’re saddled with all the emotional heavy lifting, it’s time to ask some tough questions about what you’re getting back.
Boundaries aren’t just a suggestion; they’re the secret ingredient in surviving (or escaping) these one-sided dynamics.
Start by noticing the patterns—don’t make excuses for them or yourself. Call out the dodged responsibilities when you see them, and resist the urge to pick up every dropped ball.
You deserve a partner who shares the load, says sorry when they mess up, and believes your wins are worth celebrating.
And if reading this feels a bit too familiar, know there are support systems out there—therapy, friends who get it, even the occasional sarcastic columnist.
If a narcissist keeps ducking these relationship duties, consider this your permission slip to stop enabling, set stronger boundaries, and—when you’re ready—reclaim your peace.
After all, life’s too short to play relationship janitor for someone who only shows up for their own reflection.
