8 Moral Lines Narcissists Always Cross

Ever tried reasoning with someone so self-obsessed they could take a selfie at a funeral? Then you already know: narcissists don’t just bend the rules of decency—they seem to think they invented their own rulebook, complete with invisible ink.

For everyone living or loving alongside a narcissist, recognizing those lines they gleefully leap over can help you protect your own sanity (and possibly your wine stash).

Pull up a chair—or a shield—and get cozy with these eight moral boundaries narcissists treat like speed bumps.

1. Lying as a Lifestyle

Most people save fibbing for emergencies, like when they’re cornered about who finished the last piece of cake. Narcissists, on the other hand, treat the truth like a suggestion.

Exaggeration, denial, wild stories—if it makes them look good or gets them what they want, it’s fair game.

It’s not just harmless embellishment, either. Narcissists can flat-out deny things you both witnessed, rewriting history faster than a dodgy Wikipedia editor.

The result? You start second-guessing your own memories, and their version of events always puts them center stage. If you’re constantly left muttering “Did I imagine that?”—no, you didn’t.

2. Weaponizing Empathy

Empathy is supposed to be that warm, fuzzy thing that makes us human. Narcissists, though, often see it as a handy tool for manipulation. They size up your emotions, spot your soft spots, and then—voilà!—weaponize your feelings against you.

Picture sharing a vulnerable moment, expecting some comfort. Instead, the narcissist files it away, ready to use it as ammunition in the next argument or to win sympathy from others.

Sharing your emotions with a narcissist can feel like sending your childhood teddy bear to boot camp: it’s not coming back the same.

3. Boundaries? What Boundaries?

Healthy relationships thrive on respecting each other’s boundaries. Narcissists? They treat boundaries like a “Do Not Enter” sign at a festival—just another thing to ignore.

Privacy, consent, personal space—if it stands between them and something they want, it might as well be invisible.

Ever had your phone snooped through, your diary read, or your “me time” trampled by demands? Welcome to Club Narcissist, where your boundaries are always under renovation, and nothing is sacred unless it serves their narrative.

4. Blame: Passing the Hot Potato

Accountability isn’t a strong suit here. Got a conflict? Don’t expect an apology or even a sheepish look. Narcissists have a black belt in blame-shifting.

The milk was left out? Your fault. Relationship falling apart? Clearly, all you.

Over time, this relentless blame game chips away at your self-esteem. You wind up apologizing for things you didn’t do just to keep the peace—while the narcissist collects your confessions like trophies.

Your feelings? Barely a blip on their radar.

5. Exploitation in Disguise

When you’re with a narcissist, your talents, kindness, and resources are fair game. Whether it’s borrowing money, expecting you to pick up the slack, or milking your emotional labor, narcissists have a knack for taking—without ever giving back.

They’ll charm, guilt-trip, or outright demand what they want, rarely reciprocating unless there’s something in it for them. It’s not partnership; it’s more like emotional freeloading.

And if you object? Suddenly you’re accused of being selfish, ungrateful, or dramatic.

6. Sabotaging Others’ Success

Narcissists love attention. Anything threatening their pedestal—your promotion, new relationship, or even a fresh haircut—might trigger sabotage.

Jealousy simmers just beneath the surface, and if they can’t be the brightest star, they’ll dim yours.

Maybe they belittle your achievements, give backhanded compliments, or conveniently “forget” to mention your big news. Sometimes it’s outright meddling—spreading rumors, stirring up drama, or undermining your confidence.

If your triumphs regularly turn into battlegrounds, you’re seeing one of the classic narcissist plays.

7. Emotional Blackmail, With a Side of Guilt

Ever felt like your emotions are being held hostage? Welcome to the narcissist’s favorite game: emotional blackmail. Tears, threats, silent treatment, guilt trips—whatever it takes to get their way, they’ll try it.

Think you’re standing your ground? Next thing you know, you’re apologizing for being “too sensitive” or “making a big deal out of nothing.” The narcissist wins, you lose, and your boundaries get a little fuzzier each time.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step to breaking the cycle.

8. Selective Morality

Rules are important—at least, when they apply to everyone else. Narcissists can be holier-than-thou one minute, then break every principle they preach the next.

Loyalty, honesty, respect? Great for their Instagram bio, but not so much in practice.

They’ll call out your smallest slip-ups while doing far worse themselves. Hypocrisy becomes a lifestyle, and double standards are the norm. The phrase “if the shoe fits, wear it” was clearly not written for this crowd.

Drawing Your Own Lines

Dealing with a narcissist often feels like trying to keep sand out of your shoes at the beach—messy, exhausting, and never-ending.

If you’re recognizing these crossed lines in your own relationship, know this: it’s not you being too sensitive or forgetful. It’s the narcissist moving goalposts to keep the upper hand.

Boundaries are your best armor. Reinforce them, no matter how much pushback you get. Seek support—from friends, family, or professionals—and remember, you’re allowed to hold onto your truth.

You don’t have to play by their rules. Sometimes the most powerful move is refusing to join the game at all.

And if someone tries convincing you that basic decency is “too much to ask”? Well, that says everything about their lines—and nothing about yours.