7 Narcissist’s Tricks to Make You Dependent on Them

Ah, narcissists: those charming, enigmatic individuals who can leave you feeling like you’ve just been through a psychological washing machine set on spin cycle.

If you’ve ever wondered how someone so magnetic can slowly morph into the overlord of your self-esteem, you’re not alone.

Narcissists have an almost magical ability to make you think you need them for survival, like your own personal oxygen tank—with a leak.

It’s not sorcery. It’s manipulation—polished to a shine and served with a dazzling smile.

Here are seven classic tricks narcissists use to make you emotionally dependent on them, along with what you can do tonight to start breaking free from the spell.

1. Love Bombing That Feels Like a Rom-Com on Steroids

The opening act is straight out of a Hollywood script. Flowers, texts, compliments, maybe even a playlist that just “gets you.” The narcissist is attentive, invested, and, frankly, a bit too good to be true. That’s because it is too good to be true.

This phase isn’t just flattery or infatuation. It’s a calculated strategy to sweep you off your feet before you’ve even had time to check if you like their taste in music.

The narcissist’s goal? To create a chemical dependence on their affection, so you crave their validation like it’s your morning flat white.

Tonight at dinner, notice if your partner’s affection feels like a tidal wave followed by dry spells. If the highs are intoxicating but the lows are… well, inexplicable, you might be riding the love bombing rollercoaster.

2. Gaslighting Until You Doubt Your Own Name

Once you’re hooked, things start to get trippy. Suddenly, arguments leave you questioning your memory, your feelings, even your sanity. “I never said that.” “You’re overreacting.” “You’re too sensitive.”

It’s like starring in a psychological thriller, but no one handed you the script.

This isn’t just lying. It’s a systematic effort to destabilize your sense of reality so you have no choice but to trust theirs. When you’re unsure of your own judgment, guess whose opinion you’ll rely on? Spoiler: it’s not your own.

Keep a diary, even if it’s just notes in your phone. Sometimes, seeing your version of reality in black and white can cut through the fog.

3. Isolation Playing Out Like a Slow-Mo Breakup With Your Friends

Narcissists don’t always march in and demand you dump your mates and ghost your mum. They’re far more subtle.

Comments like, “Your friends don’t really get us,” or, “Your family’s not supportive of our relationship,” start to chip away at your support system.

Before you know it, you’re spending less time with the people who know you best and more time living in the narcissist’s world. Now, when things get rough, you’ve got nowhere to turn—except back to them.

Schedule a catch-up with someone who’s known you longer than your current phone. If you’re nervous or making excuses not to see them, ask yourself who benefits from that.

4. Moving the Goalposts Until You’re Dizzy

Here’s a sneaky one: just as you meet an expectation or fix a “problem,” the narcissist invents a new one. You tidy the house, now you’re not affectionate enough.

You’re affectionate, now you’re too needy. It’s like playing a game with rules that change mid-play, and the referee is also the opposing team.

This keeps you chasing approval that never comes, while the narcissist sits back and enjoys the show. Exhausting, isn’t it?

Stop and ask: “Whose standards am I living by?” If the answer is “someone who never seems satisfied,” that’s your red flag waving in the wind.

5. Guilt-Tripping Like an Olympic Sport

Narcissists possess a PhD in making you feel responsible for their mood swings, disappointments, and even their questionable choices. “If you really loved me, you’d…” or “I did this for you, and you can’t even…”

Suddenly, you’re bending over backwards, just to avoid the avalanche of guilt. The more you give, the more they take. Funny how that works.

Try this: next time you sense a guilt trip coming, pause and check whether you’re actually at fault—or just the nearest emotional scapegoat.

6. Giving and Withholding Affection on a Whim

Narcissists are masters at using affection as currency. When you please them, you’re showered with love, attention, maybe even a surprise weekend away.

Step out of line, and poof—affection vanishes like your missing socks after laundry day.

Over time, you learn to contort yourself to stay in their good graces, just to keep the warmth coming. That’s not romance—it’s emotional blackmail.

Pay attention: if affection feels conditional, like a treat for a well-performed trick, you’re not in a partnership—you’re in training.

7. Playing the Victim Like It’s an Art Form

Any pushback, and suddenly they’re the injured party. Your concerns? “Unfair attacks.” Your boundaries? “Cruelty.” The world just doesn’t understand them, and you’re meant to be the one person who does.

Guess who gets stuck playing therapist, cheerleader, and damage control?

This trick is designed to keep the spotlight firmly on their needs, leaving yours somewhere in the lost and found.

Tonight, flip the script: share your needs and see what happens. If the conversation becomes all about their suffering, you’re witnessing the classic victim move.

Reclaiming Your Sanity and Independence

Spotting these tricks doesn’t mean you’re gullible—it means you’re human. Narcissists have honed their craft over years (some might say lifetimes, if you’re into past lives), and their charm can fool even the savviest among us.

Start by noticing the patterns. Keep a record, talk to people you trust, and resist the urge to apologize for having feelings.

Small acts of rebellion—like texting a friend, setting a boundary, or saying “no” without a footnote—chip away at the dependence, one brick at a time.

Relationships are supposed to add to your life, not rewrite the whole script.

If you find yourself living in a never-ending episode of “Survivor: Narcissist Edition,” it might be time to ask yourself who you’d be if you reclaimed the lead role.

Spoiler: you’re still the main character. The narcissist was just an extra with too many lines.