7 Narcissist’s Tactics to Make You Feel Disposable

Ever felt like someone pressed your “off” switch the moment you weren’t useful to them? Welcome to the emotional Olympics of dealing with a narcissist.

Here are seven tactics these human Rubik’s cubes use to leave you feeling about as valued as last week’s leftovers.

1. Love-Bomb, Then Ghost

At first, the narcissist arrives in your life like a carnival—fireworks, parades, and declarations of undying affection. You’re showered with attention and compliments, and it all feels intoxicating.

Then, as quickly as they arrived, they pull a vanishing act worthy of Houdini.

The abrupt switch from “most cherished person on Earth” to “who?” leaves you scrambling. Did you do something wrong? Are you boring? Nah, just dealing with someone who treats people like props for their own show.

Counter this by reminding yourself that you didn’t actually change overnight—their attention span did.

2. The Ever-Adjusting Goalpost

Narcissists adore shifting the goalpost. Today, the standard for being “good enough” is doing the dishes and complimenting their new haircut. Tomorrow, it’s mastering French and building them a treehouse. Next week? Who knows.

Chasing these moving targets leaves you feeling exhausted and perpetually inadequate. No matter what you do, it’s never quite enough—so you start questioning your worth.

The trick? Stop running the race. You’re not in a competition, and their approval is not the prize you need.

3. Silent Treatment Season

Instead of communicating like adults, narcissists will often weaponize silence. One day, you’re chatting about dinner plans; the next, you’re met with radio silence so complete you start checking if your phone actually works.

This is not mature conflict resolution—this is emotional punishment. The message is clear: you are not worth basic communication unless you’re meeting their needs.

Next time the silent treatment rolls around, consider using the unexpected free time for something you actually enjoy. Their silence is not your problem to fix.

4. Sudden Devaluation

Remember when you could do no wrong? Now, apparently, you can do no right. Narcissists flip from idolizing you to running a detailed list of your every flaw.

You’re too loud, too sensitive, too needy, too… human.

This whiplash leaves your self-esteem bruised and battered. The worst part: you start believing their criticism, forgetting that praise was just a few short weeks ago.

Pro tip: Write down what they said when things were “perfect.” Compare it to the current narrative. Spot the pattern. The problem is not you—it’s the script they run with everyone.

5. The Replacement Parade

Narcissists don’t just ignore you; they make sure you know how easily you can be replaced. Suddenly, there’s a new “best friend” or “work wife” getting all the attention you once got.

Social media becomes a highlight reel of their new supply.

Cue the jealousy and self-doubt. Was it something you did? (Spoiler: it wasn’t.) Narcissists need fresh audiences and new admirers to keep their egos inflated.

Recognize this as an old trick. Instead of measuring your worth by where you stand with them, remember what’s actually valuable about you—and refuse to play musical chairs for anyone’s affection.

6. Blame-Shifting Olympics

If there’s a problem, guess who’s at fault? Hint: it’s never the narcissist.

Their uncanny ability to twist an argument until you’re apologizing for their bad behavior could win them gold at the mental gymnastics championship.

Over time, constant blame-shifting leaves you feeling like the root of all evil: every disagreement, every bad mood, every spilled cup of coffee.

The logical conclusion is that you’re disposable—after all, you’re the problem, right?

Spoiler alert: you aren’t. Healthy adults own their mistakes. When you spot this tactic, keep a mental tally. Are you always the villain in their tales? If so, there’s your answer.

7. Withholding Affection as Currency

Affection and approval shouldn’t be doled out like dog treats, but narcissists didn’t get that memo.

When they’re displeased, they become emotionally unavailable, rationing warmth and intimacy until you’re desperate to get back in their good graces.

This conditional affection teaches you to walk on eggshells, terrified of making the wrong move. If love feels transactional, that’s a canyon-sized red flag.

Your love language deserves better. Don’t mistake crumbs for a feast.

Reclaiming Your Spot as a Non-Disposable Human

Narcissists are experts at making you feel like you’re always one misstep from the exit. But their tactics say more about their own insecurities than your worth.

Refuse to let anyone convince you that you’re disposable.

You’re not a spare part for someone else’s ego machine. You’re the main character of your own life—don’t hand over the script.

Boundaries are your best friend.

Tune into your support network, anchor yourself in reality, and, when the circus act begins again, remember—sometimes the most loving thing you can do is walk right out of the tent.