7 Narcissist’s Lies That Keep You Waiting Forever

Ever feel like you’re stuck on an emotional layover with a narcissist, clutching a boarding pass to “Better Days Ahead” that never actually gets scanned?

Welcome to the club—population: everyone who’s ever believed a narcissist’s promise that things “are about to change.” Grab a snack. We might be here a while.

The most infuriating part? It’s not just the waiting. It’s the hope. The little sprinkles of maybe, the “just one more try,” the “I swear this time is different.”

Narcissists are Olympic-level string-pullers, and their specialty event: Keeping you waiting for the love, honesty, or respect you were promised but never quite receive.

Here’s a look at seven classic lies narcissists tell to keep you hanging on, the silent co-star in their never-ending one-man (or woman) show.

1. The “I Just Need a Little More Time” Routine

Narcissists may not own a wall clock, but they sure know how to buy time. “I just need a little more time,” they say, as if emotional maturity is something Amazon delivers overnight.

A narcissist will always swear that the big change, the real commitment, or the apology you asked for is almost here—just around the corner, really. Next week. Next month. After their big project wraps up. Once “the timing is right.”

Problem is, that corner seems to move every time you get close. Before you know it, you’ve spent six birthdays and three hair colors waiting for them to get their act together.

If you’re hearing this one, check the calendar. Are you still waiting for something they promised last spring? If so, perhaps their “little more time” is actually code for “never.”

What to do tonight: Call out the moving goalposts. Ask for specifics. Watch them squirm—or miraculously find more “reasons” they can’t deliver.

2. The “I’m Working On Myself” Saga

Narcissists love a project—especially if it’s themselves, and especially if the work is entirely imaginary. “I’m working on myself” is the relationship equivalent of installing a new kitchen in your head, then never picking up a hammer.

They’ll talk about therapy. They’ll meditate (once, for Instagram). Any real change is always “in progress,” never quite complete. And if you push for accountability? Suddenly, you’re “pressuring them” and not supporting their “growth journey.”

Meanwhile, you’re left waiting for the self-aware, emotionally available partner they keep promising is “just around the corner.”

Tonight’s reality check: Ask what specific steps they’ve taken this week. If the answer is vague enough to fit on a fortune cookie, you’re being benched—again.

3. The “I Promise, Things Will Be Different This Time” Classic

Who doesn’t love reruns? Narcissists certainly do, especially when it comes to promises. “I promise, things will be different this time.” Cue déjà vu so strong you might need a lie-down.

This lie usually appears after you’ve called out their behavior or threatened to walk. Suddenly, there’s a flood of remorse and assurance that the disrespect, stonewalling, or cheating is ancient history. Brand-new day. Pinky swear.

A few weeks later, you’re right back where you started, only now with a bonus helping of whiplash.

Actual change isn’t announced; it’s demonstrated. And if you’re hearing this line for the third, fifth, or fifteenth time, it’s safe to assume the only thing that’s “different” is how creative their excuses are getting.

What you can do tonight: Track promises in your Notes app. Notice patterns. Trust what you see, not what you’re told.

4. The “Everyone Else Is the Problem” Shuffle

Ever notice how a narcissist’s exes are all “crazy,” their bosses are “toxic,” and their friends are “jealous”? It’s a pattern so reliable, you could set your watch by it (assuming, unlike them, you actually own one).

This lie keeps you waiting by shifting the blame for every issue onto someone—or everyone—else. You’re expected to believe that the universe just keeps conspiring against this poor, misunderstood soul.

The real kicker? When you eventually have a complaint or a need, guess where you end up on the list of “crazy”? Right at the top.

Refusing to take responsibility is the narcissist’s favorite way to stall meaningful change. If nothing is ever their fault, why would they ever need to fix anything?

Tonight’s move: Next time they blame the world, ask what they could do differently. If they look at you like you’ve just spoken fluent Klingon, congratulations, you’ve found the lie.

5. The “I Just Want What’s Best for Us” Maneuver

This one’s for the control enthusiasts. “I just want what’s best for us,” they insist—usually right before making a unilateral decision that’s great for them and…well, you’ll adjust.

Narcissists will use this line to justify any number of delays: moving in together, meeting your family, setting healthy boundaries. Because, apparently, your perspective is less “what’s best for us” and more “adorable suggestion.”

Under the warm, fuzzy exterior of this statement lurks a simple truth: they want to stay in charge of the relationship’s timeline (and your expectations).

Try this tonight: Say out loud what you want for “us,” then watch how quickly it becomes “you’re being unreasonable.” Your patience is not a synonym for their control.

6. The “You’re Overreacting” Gaslight Express

Ever bring up a legitimate concern only to be told you’re “overreacting”? (Bonus points if it’s delivered with a sigh and a dismissive eye roll.)

This classic lie doesn’t just keep you waiting for change; it makes you question whether you have the right to want it in the first place.

If you accept their reality—where everything is fine and you’re just “too sensitive”—you’ll wait forever for the validation and respect you deserve.

Narcissists rely on this trick to keep the status quo firmly glued down. If you start doubting your own judgment, you’re less likely to ask for what you need—or to notice that they’re not delivering.

Tonight’s antidote: Write down your feelings before talking with them. Facts are harder to gaslight when you’ve got your own receipts.

7. The “I Just Love You So Much” Stall

This one is sticky-sweet, but don’t be fooled by the sugar coating. “I just love you so much,” they gush—usually after a fight, or in the moments when you start eyeing the exit.

The implication? Your desires, boundaries, or requests for change are just “too much” for their tender heart to handle. If you loved them as much as they loved you, you’d wait. Or compromise. Or just let things slide.

Underneath all the grand declarations is a nifty bit of emotional blackmail. Your needs become proof that you “don’t care.” Their inability—or refusal—to step up is recast as noble suffering.

Tonight’s reminder: Love without respect isn’t love. Don’t mistake intensity for intimacy.

Stop Waiting, Start Living

Recognizing these lies isn’t about beating yourself up. Narcissists are incredibly convincing—sometimes even to themselves.

They can weave a story so compelling that even the best of us end up starring in a relationship that’s always on pause.

Here’s the hard-won truth: A healthy relationship doesn’t require you to sit in the waiting room, hoping for change that never comes. Action speaks louder than any promise, apology, or romantic monologue.

Tonight, notice which lines you’re still believing. Decide which ones you’re ready to stop waiting for.

And remember: The only timeline you need to honor is your own.

Because life’s too short to spend it waiting for someone else’s “someday.”