5 Ways Narcissists Play Mind Games
Ever had a conversation that left you feeling like you just got spun around in an emotional washing machine? If that sounds familiar, chances are you’ve tangled with a narcissist.
These folks don’t just crave the spotlight. They build the stage, write the script, and expect a standing ovation for every performance—while you’re left scratching your head in the audience.
Spotting the antics is half the battle. Learning how to dodge the worst of their tricks? That’s where things actually get interesting.
1. Gaslighting They’ll Make You Doubt Your Reality
If there were an Olympic event for mental gymnastics, narcissists would snag the gold for gaslighting, every time. “That never happened,” they’ll smirk, even if you’ve got the text receipts, a group chat, and a carrier pigeon all confirming it did.
Suddenly, you’re questioning your memory, sanity, and maybe even your grip on the space-time continuum.
Here’s how this trick works: They insist their version of events is gospel, and yours is the stuff of comic books. Over time, you might start believing them. Cue the self-doubt spiral.
How to fight back? Anchor yourself in reality. Keep notes. Save those texts. Talk with a friend who remembers things the way you do.
The more you ground yourself, the less you’ll get swept away by their smoke and mirrors. And no, you’re not “too sensitive”—you’re just not buying their alternate facts.
2. Love Bombing Followed by Emotional Withholding
Think of love bombing as emotional confetti—flowers, gifts, gushing texts, maybe even a song dedication on the radio (retro, but some still try). At first, you feel like the main character in a rom-com.
But just when you’ve let your guard down, the affection vanishes faster than your favorite TV show after a cliffhanger.
This hot-and-cold routine is designed to keep you off balance. When the attention dries up, you’ll find yourself chasing that early rush, wondering what you did to lose it.
Spoiler: You didn’t do anything wrong. The script was always set to change.
What can you do? Notice the pattern, and remind yourself that healthy love isn’t a carnival ride. Consistency is key.
If you’re left constantly guessing where you stand, it’s not romance—it’s a mind game. Less swoon, more caution.
3. Triangulation Involving Other People to Stir Up Drama
Ever had your partner drop a casual “Well, even my ex thought I was right about this” into an argument? That’s triangulation—when a narcissist ropes in third parties (real or imaginary) to throw you off balance.
They might name-drop friends, family, colleagues, or even random passersby to “prove” their point or make you feel isolated. The aim? To have you doubting your judgment, desperate for approval, and competing for their attention.
It’s like a reality show, except you never signed up for the audition.
To sidestep this ploy, keep your eyes on the real issue. If outside opinions keep popping up, call it out: “I’m interested in how we feel—not what your mate Dave thinks.”
Boundaries. Set them, enforce them, and watch the drama lose its sparkle.
4. Moving the Goalposts Changing Expectations to Keep You Off Balance
Ever feel like you’re chasing an impossible standard? Every time you meet one expectation, a new one pops up—higher, faster, shinier.
That’s the narcissist’s version of fun: moving the goalposts until you’re too exhausted to play.
Maybe you finally landed that job, lost the weight, or remembered their coffee order—only to find out now you’re not “ambitious enough,” “fit enough,” or “thoughtful enough.” Goal met? Sorry, new goal. Try again.
Best response: Acknowledge their shifting standards for what they are—unrealistic and unfair. Decide what’s reasonable for you, and don’t let them rewrite your rulebook.
When you stop running their race, they lose a lot of power.
5. The Silent Treatment Communicating with a Brick Wall
When all else fails, some narcissists hit mute. The silent treatment isn’t just about cooling off or needing space. It’s a power move—a way to punish, control, and make you squirm.
Messages go unanswered. Calls ignored. You’re left guessing what you did wrong. (Spoiler: It’s not about you.)
This tactic preys on our basic need for connection and drives some people to apologize just to break the silence, even when they’re not at fault.
No need to tap-dance for forgiveness. Instead, let their silence speak for itself. Focus on your own day, keep up with your routines, and don’t beg for scraps of attention.
Communication is a two-way street—no need to chase someone who’s parked on the curb and turned off the engine.
Building Your Sanity Shield
Narcissists have honed their mind games through years of practice (and, rumor has it, a few mirror pep talks). But you can build a shield by spotting the patterns, trusting your gut, and laying down clear boundaries.
Protecting your peace isn’t just a slogan—it’s your survival kit for every manipulative twist and turn.
And if you ever find yourself doubting your own reality, consult the receipts, call a friend, or, at the very least, check your coffee for truth serum.
Your sanity isn’t up for grabs. Not now, not ever.
