12 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist

Dating can feel like a minefield, and sometimes, it’s less about the butterflies and more about tiptoeing around someone else’s ego.

If your romance is starting to feel like a one-person show—with you as the supporting act—there’s a chance you’ve landed yourself a starring role opposite a narcissist. Let’s size up the warning signs, shall we?

1. The Conversation Always Circles Back to Them

Ever noticed how your tales of a disastrous work meeting or winning the office bake-off somehow end up being about their childhood trauma or their legendary brownies?

Narcissists are Olympic-level at redirecting any discussion back onto their favorite subject: themselves.

Your thoughts, dreams, and even your cat’s quirky habits are just opportunities for them to wax poetic about their own greatness.

2. Flattery Flows—Until It Doesn’t

In the early days, your narcissist beams at you like you’re a rare Picasso. Compliments, grand gestures, text messages that could melt steel. It’s called “love bombing,” and it’s as subtle as a marching band at a funeral.

Then, without warning, the adoration dries up and you’re left wondering if you imagined it all. Narcissists reel you in with praise, but once the chase is over, attention is rationed like chocolate in a diet household.

3. Boundaries Are Suggestions, Not Rules

Ever found your privacy treated more like a vague concept than a right? For narcissists, boundaries are more like those little “Do Not Disturb” signs in hotels—conveniently ignored.

Your phone, your time, your opinions: open season. Standing your ground often leads to sulking, guilt-tripping, or a dramatic monologue about how you’re “unfair” or “cold.”

4. Empathy Is Always Out of Stock

Spilled your heart out after a rough day, only to get a blank stare or a monologue about their own hardships? Empathy just isn’t on offer.

Your feelings are either minimized, dismissed, or twisted into another opportunity for them to shine. If you feel more alone when you’re together, it’s not your imagination.

5. Gaslighting Becomes the Norm

Suddenly, you’re questioning your memory, your sanity, and maybe even your taste in breakfast cereals. Gaslighting is a narcissist’s favorite hobby, and they wield it with the precision of a surgeon.

“That never happened,” or, “You’re too sensitive,” are their greatest hits. Over time, you start doubting your own reality.

It’s exhausting and, frankly, you deserve better.

6. Criticism Is a One-Way Street

Pointing out something that bothered you? Prepare for an over-the-top meltdown or a sulky silence that lasts just long enough to ruin your weekend plans.

But when it’s time for you to take feedback, oh boy: every minor flaw, from your driving to your taste in socks, is fair game. Narcissists dish it out, but can’t take a teaspoon in return.

7. They Crave Admiration Like Oxygen

Whether it’s fishing for compliments or performing minor miracles in the hopes someone will notice, narcissists need admiration the way plants need sunlight.

If you don’t lavish enough praise, expect a mood shift or a dramatic exit. You’ll be left wondering if dating them comes with a minimum word count for compliments.

8. Charm Is a Mask, Not a Personality

At a party, your date is magnetic—everyone wants to chat, and they’re the life of the shindig. But peel back the charm, and you’ll find it’s strictly for public consumption.

Behind closed doors, the kindness evaporates and you’re left with someone who treats you like a background prop until the next audience comes along.

9. Your Needs Are an Afterthought

Ever noticed how your dreams, needs, or even your need for a quiet night in somehow always come second? Plans revolve around their preferences.

Your requests for support are met with eye rolls or elaborate excuses. Over time, you start to shrink your own needs down to the size of a fun-size candy bar—barely there, and gone too quickly.

10. Blame-Shifting Is Practically an Art Form

Nothing is ever their fault. Ever. If your narcissist forgot your birthday, it’s because you didn’t remind them enough. If there’s an argument, you’re “too sensitive” or “misunderstood them.”

They duck responsibility like it’s a dodgeball tournament. Apologies, when they happen, are usually of the “sorry you feel that way” variety—just enough to tick the box, never enough to show real accountability.

11. Jealousy and Possessiveness Run Wild

If you can’t mention a colleague’s name or a friend’s funny story without a full-blown interrogation, take note. Narcissists often react with suspicion or jealousy at the tiniest hint of competition, even if it’s your grandma’s attention.

Ironically, their own flirtatious antics are “just being friendly.” Double standards, anyone?

12. They Always Play the Victim

Even when they’re unambiguously in the wrong, your narcissist manages to twist the narrative until you’re the villain. Maybe it’s crocodile tears, maybe it’s tales of their troubled past, but somehow you end up apologizing for things you didn’t do.

The sympathy card gets played so often, you’d think it comes with loyalty points.

Now What?

Recognizing these signs isn’t about slapping labels on people or diagnosing from the armchair. It’s about giving yourself permission to question the dynamic in your relationship.

If any of these points hit a little too close to home, don’t rush to self-blame or try to “fix” your partner. Healthy relationships aren’t built on walking on eggshells or shrinking yourself to keep someone else comfortable.

If you’re feeling drained, manipulated, or perpetually wrong-footed, reaching out to friends, a therapist, or even just journaling your experiences can help you get clarity.

Sometimes the hardest part is admitting the truth—especially if the charm offensive is still fresh in your mind.

You deserve a relationship where your needs, boundaries, and feelings are valued, not steamrolled. Listen to your instincts and don’t ignore those red flags waving in your face like overzealous parking attendants.

Dating is supposed to be fun, not a masterclass in emotional endurance.

And if your date responds to this article by making it all about them? Well—there’s your sign.